Well, here it is. Not only is Number 756 in the bag, but number 757 and number 758. We’ve had time to stomach the fall of the most hallowed record in sports, take a Zantac, unbuckle our pants, and now we can flush it’s corn speckled remains into the murky depths.

Yes, the time leading up to 756 was a whirlwind of speculation and finger waggling, a proverbial dust storm of anxiety. Well, it’s over now. Somehow all of the anger that was flaunted by Bonds antagonists was pacified by one simple thought, “A-Rod will break Bonds’ record in seven years.” Somehow, that made us all feel better.

I, for one, am just happy to see all of the hype over with. I will be happy to never see the “Road To 756″ signs plastered over everything sports related, and was that REALLY an entire episode of Baseball Tonight dedicated to televising every single Barry Bonds home run? Disgusting.

But, even more exciting than the end of the perpetual Bonds fellating machine is the end of the Steroid Era as we know it. Will people still take steroids? Sure. Will they continue to taint the records that we hold dear? Of course! We just won’t have to hear about it any more.

There’s two reasons why the Steroid Era is dead:

1. Hank Aaron’s record has been broken by Barry Bonds. People as a whole, mostly just like to bitch about impending problems. It’s just like the cost of gas right now. After Katrina hit and prices started skyrocketing everyone was up in arms, “Rabble rabble rabble!” But, as they leveled out and remained stable at $2.75 a gallon, the complaining dissipated as well. As Bonds approached 755, arms were flailing, attacks were made. But, somehow, after 756 was hit, we all found that the sun still rose and we all had to go to work. This period of grace should continue until around 2012 or 2013 when Bonds is eligible for the Hall of Fame.

2. George Mitchell was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. Now, I’m not saying that this is some kind of conspiracy. No. I have only the best wishes for George Mitchell and his family. But, the timing of his diagnosis will provide just the kind of situation where the steroid investigation can slip through the cracks. Because I know the road to recovery is a long one, and it takes quite a toll on the person recovering. And since the main witch in the witch hunt has already done what we, the fans, had hoped Mitchell could stop, there’s no need in continuing. So, they’ll just let it fade into oblivion in hopes that no one brings it up again. But, if anyone does they’ll say, “Oh that? Yeah, Neifi Perez was juiced and, ironically enough, the pitcher that served up 755. But, that’s about all we could find.”

No one seems to have a problem with Sosa or McGwire or Palmeiro or Giambi. Nope. They played the game with a smile on their face. The dream is over, Hammerin’ Hank is officially #2 on the list, and if our calculations are correct, Alex Rodriguez should break Bonds’ mark sometime around the All-Star Break 2014, pushing him to #3.

And somehow, that makes it all better…

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