Born Adam Jones, but nicknamed Pac-Man because he “eats up balls” (SNARF!), our little yellow ball eater has found quite a way for the relatively unmarketable position of defensive back to get a little camera time off the field. Let’s face it, as necessary as the defensive back is in the game of football, unless your name is Deion Sanders there’s a large portion of the population who don’t know who you are. But, Pac-Man was thrust into our faces when, after throwing fistfuls of money in the air at a strip club, decided during the ensuing meelee that he would like his personal throwing money back. Well a gun fight followed, followed by a season-long suspension.
Well, our ball eating, ghost chaser tried to find ways to occupy himself with his newfound downtime. First, he tried to wrestle. But, of course, the fascist regime in Tennessee put the kibosh on that. So, instead, Pac-Man just got beat up by fake police onstage at the rasslin’ match instead. Now, he did the only other logical move in occupying his time, while still staying on course to solidify his place in “Oh yeah…I remember that! Funny!” category of drunken half time conversations, he’s recording a rap album.
Is it just me, or does this call for a celebratory athlete gone rapper retrospective?!
Shaquille O’Neil – Shaq Diesel: Shoot Pass Slam
Highlight – “Sharp as a dagger, call me Shaq Attack-a. I love Jim Valvano?, forget Jimmy Swaggart. I’m a mack, you better back off. I’ll leave a bad taste in your mouth like boogers and coffee.”
Tony Parker – Self Titled: Gametime
Highlight – The fact that it’s a French rap album oughtta cover it… But if I had to choose it would be Tony Parker saying “Ton-yee P, NB-yay play-YUH!” and then something about a “Gyetto Blast-yuh” in a snooty French accent.
Highlight – “I admit I used to smoke right before games. Had to ease the pain, in the brain, it was insane. Half time, hit the liquor store for a half pint.”
Hmmm...I got nothin'...
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