Inspired by a couple of my favorite shows, Man vs. Wild and Survivorman, I was struck with an idea late last night. I’ve watched countless hours of my heroes Bear Grylls (try and tell me he’s a fraud, you’ll unleash a heated argument the likes of which you’ve never seen) and Les Stroud and I’ve seen them survive the most bleak situations (just try it, punk… I dare you!) with almost nothing. 
So, I have one final fantasy football draft this afternoon. I have decided to chronicle my survival into some of Yahoo’s harshest terrain, armed with little more than the fantasy football equivalent of a flint, a water bottle, and the clothes on my back. I will purposefully make the same mistakes that I have seen and heard that so many people make every day during the month of August.
As long as Yahoo! doesn’t sabotage me with a top 4 or 5 pick, you will see me do such fantasy no-nos as drafting a wide receiver with my first pick, taking a tight end, kicker, and defense way too early, taking TWO tight ends and kickers, playing “homer” and picking multiple players from the same team, overvaluing mediocre running backs, and any other poor decision that I come across. 
But, just like the episode of Survivorman where Les was to stay in the desert for a week and two days into his seven day tour, the desert turned overcast and rainy for the first time in a year, it will be possible for Yahoo to give me one of the first 3 or 4 picks over all. As much as I would love to take Steve Smith with that pick, I’ve been through several drafts this season and I’ve seen some REAL bonehead moves from some REAL knuckleheads, but I’ve never seen #1, #2, or #3 NOT end up being one of the Holy Trinity of running backs. Apparently, even the densest retard in the psych ward knows how to draft up until the 4th or 5th pick, so I will, too.
The draft begins at 12:00 PM CST today. Stay tuned each week as I show you how YOU can battle the elements after a terrible draft to successfully compete in your fantasy football league with little more than a flint, a water bottle, and the clothes on your back.
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