Miss Vaughn: Good morning, class.
Class:Good morning, Miss Vaughn.
Miss Vaughn:We’re gonna start today by reading a short story entitled “My Sister Fanny”.
Class:*giggles aloud
Miss Vaughn:Quiet… OK, so let’s all open up our Reading is Fun books to page 69.
Billy Madison:69!

Why the Billy Madison reference? Because thanks to Week 5′s 10 for 11 performance, I now have a 69% overall accuracy rating for picking over/underachievers. My only downfalls were saying that Joseph Addai’s playing time would be so limited that he wouldn’t score 10 points (when in fact he didn’t play at all.) and going out on a limb once again for Drew “Here’s a quarter… why don’t you go downtown and find a rat to chew that thing off your face?” Brees. Let’s see if we can’t break the 70% mark this week.

Better Than Usual: QBs

Daunte Culpepper – OAK @ SD – Culpepper lucked into 5 touchdowns (2 passing, 3 rushing) on 103 TOTAL yards. Kind of an anomaly. I’m not sure how that kind of thing happens. Anyways, San Diego, coming off of a blow out victory and going into their bye week next week are setting themselves up for a fall, and with the 27th ranked passing defense in the land, Culpepper should surpass the 17 point mark.

Kurt Warner – ARI vs. CAR – What is this, the year 2000? Culpepper and Warner in the same Overachiever list? Who’s next, Elvis Grbac? Nah, come on. Leinart’s been busy shirking his paternal responsibilities and putting his penis in things. Warner has been pretty damn solid taking his share of the team. Now with Warner as the only act in town, Boldin possibly back, and the Panther’s 24th ranked pass defense in town, looks like Kurt’s man-beast of a wife will have something to clap about again.

Not So Much: QBs

Brett Favre – GB vs. WAS – Yeah, I know it’s hard to score less than 17 points when the Packers pass the ball around 75% of the time, but I feel it this week. Washington’s defense is pretty friggin’ nasty right now, and the Redskins can’t wait to try and make the Packers 4-2 going into their bye.

Carson Palmer – CIN @ KC – This will mark Palmer’s third appearance on the ol’ Not So Much board this season. I was right the last two times, and I’m right this time. Kansas City is the 5th best pass defensing team in the NFL, and Palmer and Ocho Stinko…if I may be blunt…look like a couple of bitches out there.

Better Than Usual: RBs

Larry Johnson – KC vs. CIN – Okay, San Diego figured out how to just give the ball to LaDanian. Next up, Larry Johnson! Figure it out, Herm. If Larry Johnson can’t make it happen at home against the Bengals…well, we’re going to see a lot of formerly smug fantasy footballers with missing patches of hair on Monday morning.

Ahman Green – HOU @ JAC – Before injuring his knee, Ahman Green was averaging 4.3 YPC. Not great, but WAY better than Ron Dayne’s current 2.9. Green is fully expected to be back on the field Sunday, and should be very able to get 10+ points for your team.

Not So Much: RBs

Derrick Ward – NYG @ ATL – It was a fun ride, wasn’t it? Things looked bleak for Brandon Jacobs owners early on. Well, Derrick Ward jumper-oners I hope you sold high, because even if this becomes a time share situation, it won’t last long. Especially with Ward being dinged up. Sell him off of your team before he loses all of his worth.

Clinton Portis – WAS @ GB – “I know who ate those lunches…it was that damned Sasquatch.” If by Sasquatch she meant the Packers’ rush defense, then the old lady was as warm as peed pants. And if peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

Better Than Usual: WRs

Derrick Mason – BAL vs. STL – Old reliable. You gotta love Mason for what he is. He’s like your old favorite blue jeans with the frayed holes worn through the corners of your ass pockets. Nothing flashy, but they’ll get you from point A to point B without riding up your ass. Up against the Rams’ secondary, even Vinny Testeverde throwing to David Boston after a reefer binge could light up the scoreboard.

Reggie Brown – PHI @ NYJ – I don’t know what I’m thinking. I might as well put a big red X over this pick right now. But, the Eagles are nice and rested from a bye week. and they’re playing the craptastic Jets. If Brown doesn’t produce over 7 points this week, feel free to mail him a box of poop.

Not So Much: WRs

Plaxico Burress – NYG @ ATL – Burress has been having a career season and if you wound up with Randy Moss and Burress on the same team…well, whoopdie-doo for you. But, remember a couple of weeks ago when Steve Smith was in Plaxico’s seat and I said DeAngelo Hall would shut him down and then he did and Steve Smith hasn’t done jack since? Same thing here.

Patrick Crayton – DAL vs. NE – Everyone is on the Crayton wagon. And why shouldn’t you be? He’s been as solid as a frozen cat out there lately. Well, during the game of the season this week, the Patriots will be reminding the Cowboys what a real team looks like all day long.

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