So, I was standing in the return line at Best Buy yesterday. I had to take a dump, so I was a little pissed off about having to stand in line for 20 minutes when my return wasn’t even Christmas related… So, anyways, I’m standing there and I see this magnificent white trash chick standing next to me. Pregnant, reeking of ciggarettes, a couple of tattos on her tits. Exquisite! But, then, I saw the greatest thing ever! Her mom came walking up and held her place in line while she ran over and got some CD, almost certainly Three 6 Mafia or Mims or some other unlistenable bullshit.

I was so giddy when I saw her, I whipped out my phone and snapped a picture. As you can see, my giddiness made things a little burry, but you can still see most of her glory.

What we have here appears to be a home-made femullet. Upon closer inspection you could see where there were patches of tight shaving surrounded by woolier areas. The line dividing the business from the party was more jagged than her smile. What you can’t really see is the wicked Dale Earnhart Jr. purse that she’s carrying. It’s a wonderful accent piece to her requisite Mickey and Minnie Mouse t-shirt (They were holding surf boards).

Needless to say, in the spirit of the holiday season, I was able to forget about the perils of having to take a shit for only a moment as the glory of the home-made femullet came into view. Thank you Alabama, and my bowels thank you as well…

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