Now, onward and upward to the powerhouses of fantasy baseball: the first basemen. Historically, when you’re looking at an all out slugger, you’re looking at a first baseman. Yes, there’s sluggers at all the other positions, but at no other position are there ONLY sluggers. So, take that semantics stickler.
In this article, I will go through and call out three bargain bin goodies and three things painted in lead paint with small parts that will almost certainly choke your children and small pets. With no further ado, let’s hit the books, shall we?
Sleepers:
1. James Loney – Los Angeles Dodgers – Now, this guy isn’t a rookie, he’s been around for a couple of seasons. On top of that, the two seasons he’s been around for he hasn’t done anything superhuman. However, each season his per AB numbers are improving. So much so, that if he plays 162 games this season(he’s played 48 & 95 in the two previous seasons), we have him projected out to hit around .310 with 21 HRs and 96 RBI. Those would be some nice numbers from the #15 ranked 1st Baseman.
2. Joey Votto – Cincinnati Reds – The only reason Votto isn’t #1 on this list is that he only has 24 major league games under his belt. But, when we factored out his percentages over those 24 games into a 162 game season, the numbers were hot lava. Obviously, you can’t expect a guy to hit the same over 6 months that he hit in a month and a half, but just for grins, here’s his projected 162 game season projected numbers: 77/28/120/7/.321 Zoinks is right, Shaggy.
3. Daric Barton – Oakland A’s – This guy burst on the scene like Prince Fielder at a pancake buffet last year. The guy had 72 ABs in 18 games, and went like this: 16/4/8/1/.347 Now, let’s be reasonable. Those numbers projected out over 162 games would give you an unwarranted erection. I won’t even show them to you, because they’re worthless. No way a Billy Beane slugger gets 144 runs in a season, especially one who’s currently riding the pine behind Dan Johnson. But, he’s a DEFINITE free agent to watch early on.
Busters:
1. Carlos Pena – Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays – Okay, so let me get this straight, ONE above average season in 7 seasons warrants you to be the #9 overall 1st baseman in the fantasy world? Yeah, he was great for people who hopped on for the ride last season, but if you take last season’s 46 HRs out of the picture, he suddenly averages less than 9 HRs a season. Something tells me that people need to pull off their near-sighted spectacles and start looking at things historically.
2. Carlos Guillen – Detroit Tigers – OOO! A first baseman who can hit 18 HRs and steal 18 bases a season! That’s like getting excited over a Kia Sephia that also makes applesauce. Who gives a rat’s ass? Neither of those stats is anything to write home about in the long run. Plus, face facts, he’s a shortstop who now qualifies for first base. Who gets excited about shortstops, other than David Ortiz sharing sweaty man hugs with Miguel Tejada at the Home Run Derby.
3. Todd Helton – Colorado Rockies – Sorry, my oxygen deprived Rockies fans, the Todd Helton you knew is gone. He should still be on your draft board, but that ship is sinking faster than Wesley Snipes’ career. Seriously, Wesley…hocking Bowflexes (or whatever body building gadget Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley also endorse)? I thought Blade was the biggest hunk of cheese you could squeeze from your butt…
Hmmm...I got nothin'...






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