“Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend. I’m just kind of embarassed, so I wanted to write and apologize. I was really drunk, and your friend was just babbling on like a pretentious asshole. He was carrying on about being a trumpeteer for B.B. King or some shit… It was just the way he said it, so I turned around and farted on him. At the time I thought it was funny, but now I can’t help but be embarrassed… So, I’m sorry if I offended you or your friend.”
I wrote this email roughly 6 years ago. I was at the chili cook off with a friend, as you may have read. We ran into a friend of his who had previously been on tour with BB King playing trumpet. I don’t remember the details of this encounter any more, as it was years and many brain cells ago. I do remember it being quite a bit like the scene from Seinfeld where Jerry and Elaine are stuck at the party while George is out getting laid, and that woman keeps saying, “Where is my fee-ahn-SAY? I must find my fee-ahn-SAY! The poor baby is lost! Have you seen my fee-ahn-SAY?” and Elaine says, “Maybe a dingo ate your baby.”
It was a lot like that, but instead of a snappy remark, I remember just turning my back to him mid-sentence and rattling off a thunderclap. I remember that the guy stopped talking, as did others, and I just walked off chuckling in a drunken, devious kind of way. But, seriously, how many times can one jerk off asswipe say the letters “BB” in one conversation? “So, there I was with BB, and he looks over at me, and I knew RIGHT where BB was going with that. So, I hit a sharp E and BB just grinned at me and came right back.”
Anyway, the reason this email came back to me is that after I sent it, my buddy, being the kind of jerk off that he is, realized that by me apologizing for farting on a guy, I was WAY more lame than I would’ve been had I just farted on him and let it go. He put that email into some sort of automailer that sent that very same email to me every Monday for four years.
About two years ago, the mailer stopped and I had completely forgotten about it. This morning, guess what was waiting for me in my mailbox? An April Fool’s Day surprise? Goddammit…
Hmmm...I got nothin'...
Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.
Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.
Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.
Now you may have your new website online and also you’re eager to begin making some sales! But, how will you make gross sales if you wouldn’t have high volumes of holiday makers to your web site?
Hey there, your page has a weird layout if I take a look at it with my iphone 3GS. Perhaps you should try optimizing the homepage for smart phone access as well.
I definitely loved reading your post. Thanks!A topic near to my crux cheers, do you partake of a RSS graze ?
This terribly helpful and great data. Thanks a lot!
consider my blog additionally
I be aware like I’m constantly looking for engaging things to read almost a number of topics, but I manage to take in your position develop into my reads every day because you procure compelling entries that I look help to.
perfect logbook you’ve keep
Hey could I work some of the acuteness from this blog if I fix up with provision a bond back to your site?
I truly prize your piece of work, Great post.
I switched technicians simply because after a few years with Intense pulsed light, I thought the results weren’t worth the cost. Then I invested in the no no hair removal. They will guarantee that after 2 years in the event that hair grows again, all treatments will be no charge. They’ve got both lazer and Ipl, but I am planning to stay with lazer now as Intense pulsed light did not appear to decrease the amount of hair returning. Anunturi Romania
Fantastic goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you’re just extremely fantastic. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is actually a tremendous website.
Keep working ,impressive job!
Interesting stuff mate.
Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.
Fantastic commentary! My companion feels the same way. Though I have to disagree, respectfully of course. Keep the great columns coming!
One thing seem to comprehend is you cannot assume all a candidate for virtually any breast lift. To learn if you are, listed below are some issues to consider. Excellent work for any surgical procedures should have a more rewarding, pendulous chest, by penetration of burning in regards to tone and their capability stand up. Usually, those people girls having a lower chest dimension aren’t going to be good job hopefuls, yet will certainly hardly ever contain the kinds of problems that could result in to the surgery. Hard that are fitted with set out to position downwards are usually an indicator that you might always be a great individual for your organization.
Spot on with this write-up, I actually think this web site wants way more consideration. I’ll probably be once more to read far more, thanks for that info.
I enjoy coming chasing everyday to conscious of your thoughts. I attired in b be committed to your page bookmarked on my daily comprehend list!
I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this increase.
I will be sure to post a link to this website on my blog. I’m certain my subscribers will find this article really great.
I wanted to jot down a note in order to appreciate you for all of the magnificent guidelines you are showing here. My rather long internet investigation has finally been rewarded with reliable facts and techniques to exchange with my friends and family. I ‘d admit that many of us readers actually are quite endowed to dwell in a great site with very many special individuals with good opinions. I feel really blessed to have encountered your website and look forward to so many more cool times reading here. Thanks a lot again for a lot of things.
Hi! Good post! Please when all will see a follow up!
When I was a young man I thought the same way
Hi! Good post! Please inform us when all can see a follow up!
hey guys I just saw the funniest video……..its called what you should never find in a bathroom
Credit you for creating valuable knowledge fro the issue.
Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.
i bought this same laptop from dell like 3months ago and i still love it!!! it flips so u can watch videos and when you put it on the stand, the speaker are really loud, and its not eventhat expensive. I thought it was totally worth my money and the computer is just awesome
the touchscreen is very precise and u dont need a pen like u do with that HP compter that also came out tryin to copy DELL. to me..this is the best computer out there so far 
worth your money…just epic 
love it!! 
nice blog post. Very informative. Thanks for sharing!
Your Article about Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association Rattling wonderful visual appeal on this internet site , I’d rate it 10 10.
Your Article about Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association Very excellent visual appeal on this web site , I’d rate it 10 10.
This song is the best!
Anything that ocmes with a network interface.
I enjoy you because of your own hard work on this website. My mum really loves engaging in internet research and it’s really simple to grasp why. A lot of people notice all relating to the lively medium you offer both interesting and useful tips on your blog and as well boost participation from other ones about this area of interest plus my girl is in fact being taught a lot. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the new year. You have been conducting a very good job.
Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. After all I?¦ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!
Appreciate it for sharing Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association with us keep update bro love your article about Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association .
This website is known as a walk-through for all the information you wished about this and didn?t know who to ask. Glimpse right here, and you?ll undoubtedly discover it.
I like this Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association , enjoyed this one regards for putting up keep update Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association.
hello there and thank you for your information – I’ve definitely picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise several technical issues using this website, since I experienced to reload the site many times previous to I could get it to load correctly. I had been wondering if your hosting is OK? Not that I’m complaining, but slow loading instances times will sometimes affect your placement in google and can damage your high-quality score if ads and marketing with Adwords. Anyway I am adding this RSS to my e-mail and can look out for a lot more of your respective intriguing content. Make sure you update this again very soon..
I agree with your Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association, excellent post.
Your Article about Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association Really superb visual appeal on this website , I’d rate it 10 10.
I like Your Article about Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association Perfect just what I was looking for! .
Thanks i love your article about Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association
Thanks i love your article about Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association
A lot of hot content here. May I submit it to Rss feeds?
I agree with your Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association, excellent post.
I agree with your Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend… | Armchair Association, wonderful post.
Whoah this blog is great i really like studying your articles. Keep up the good paintings! You realize, lots of people are searching round for this information, you could help them greatly.