JERUSALEM (ArmAss) - The Eagles have finally responded to the hundreds of thousands of unfounded rumors circulating on EagleFellator.com, pardon me...YardBarker.com, by their rabid fan base. Andy Reid took the podeum last night to announce that the Eagles had finalized a deal with the Mecca Camels, a Heavenly franchise in the HFL, to send Lito Sheppard and a 2nd Round pick to Mecca in exchange for #1 receiver Jesus Christ.

"There were some questions on his catching ability, you know with the holes in his hands, but when we took a step back we realized that we're talking about the Holy Ghost here and we knew what we had to do." Reid said immediately before being vaporized by a bolt of lightning.

When approached for a comment, Christ had this to say, "I don't how much I like the new hair code that the NFL is proposing, I've been rocking long hair for some time now. We'll see what Goodell decides and go from there. All I know is that I'm excited to be in Philadelphia, I'm gonna grab a cheesesteak."

Lito Sheppard was disappointed by the decision by Eagles management, voicing concerns over the fact that he will actually have to be killed and buried before joining the HFL as part of their charter. "What do they think? I ain't just gonna push aside a rock in three days and walk back to Philly! This s*** is crazy! Ya'll can't do this to me!" Lito was put down by a tool used for cattle slaughter shortly afterward and buried in his new Camels jersey during a brief ceremony attended by Eagles head staff.

"All I know is I'm glad I didn't go to the Lions, if you know what I'm saying!" Jesus quipped during his press conference.

Labels: Jesus Christ, Lito Sheppard, nfl, Philadelphia Eagles

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