Here we are, folks. Two weeks from the majestic triumph of human spirit, where all of the nations in the world set aside their differences and unite in competition to the glory of us all as we remain glued...come on. No, nobody really watches the Olympics anymore. Well, sometimes we watch the gymnastics for the internal strugle. (Oh my God, they'd be so hot in bed! Jesus, man, they look like they're eight years old... No, come on I think they're like 18. Yeah, but it's still got to be illegal, aren't there size restrictions? Don't you have to throw them back at that size?)

Anyhow, to commemorate the glorious ceremonies I am making a call to sports bloggers everywhere to compete in the First Annual Sports Blogolympics!

What is this wonderful thing I'm talking about? Have a seat, let me explain:

The Sports Blogolympics will take 5 different blog authors from across the Blogosphere and set them to the task of participating in 5 different events. These events have been strategically created to bring out the best in the upper echelon of sports bloggers everywhere. The Blogolympics events will include:

- The Hack - Give us your trite. Give us your cliche. Give us the best/worst hackneyed approach to sports journalism you could possibly muster. You choose the topic as long as it pertains to SOME kind of sport, just make sure it's some of the most cliched writing you can force into your keyboard.

- The Haiku - In honor of the Chinese Olympics, we're celebrating an art form created by the...uh...well...the Japanese. Nevermind that, the haiku is 17 simple syllables, but GREAT haiku can be some of the most difficult writing you can attempt. This event will consist of 4 different haikus on the following subjects: NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL. Yessir, sports haiku!

- The Heartfelt - Occasionally, sports can move you in a way that few can express. Sure, as bloggers, we're frequently hilarious. But, a true test of skill is pouring your heart into an article and moving someone. This event will consist of writing a powerful article on any sports moment in the history of sports. Check your wit at the door, you won't need it here.

- The Historical - Blogging is a relatively new form of media, which by linear thought would mean that most of the bloggers out there are relatively young themselves. So, for this event, you're going to have to get out your researcher hat and dig up and report on an interesting story that happened at LEAST 20 years ago. So, that would put the cut off date around 1988. Doesn't matter what sport you choose or what format you chose to go in (humorous, thought provoking, moving...), it just had to have happened at least 20 years ago.

- The Hilarious - Okay, this sounds easy: Be Hilarious. You started a blog, most likely, because you were sick of all the wet blanket, blowhards who do our typical sports reporting. Here's your chance to close out the events with your strong suit. The event will consist of writing the funniest article you can write on any sport event at any time in the history of sports. Sounds easy, huh? You may be surprised.

Events will be judged by a poll on each page of the Blogolympics voted on by your peers. Medals will be awarded for each event in the form of avatars that you can post on your blog. The winner of the 2008 Blogolympics will receive an additional avatar declaring that blogger to be the World Champion as well as a great prize (yet to be determined, but if I can't squeeze something out of a sponsor, I'll come out of pocket.)

If you're interested in competing, leave a comment within this article with your Site Name and URL (if you want to leave your email address, that'd make life easier for me, but I understand if you don't want to, I'll just try and contact you via your contact info on your site) and type up a little something about why you should be selected to compete in the 2008 Blogolympics.

The competing five will be notified by Monday, July 28th. The first entry (The Hack) will be due by the following Sunday, August 3rd for judging. The entries will be available for voting from Sunday, August 3rd until Sunday, August 10th at which point the next event (The Haiku) will be due. This will be explained in more depth to the participants later on, as I'm sure I've lost 75% of those who opened this article by now.

So, if you're interested in participating, just leave us a comment with your info.

Good luck out there!
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