Bruce Alrighty Then...dick... | Armchair Association

Bruce Alrighty Then…dick…

by Polish Powerhouse

July 14, 2009

Who knew that when you get to be old and at the turnstiles of retirement that you get to be a self-righteous dick? Well, Isaac Bruce did. The San Francisco 49ers are chock full of young receiver talent, and one aging bastion of advice and guidance who is being as cooperative as al Quaeda on a waterboard.

Isaac Bruce said he learned everything he knows, not from regular human interaction, but from just observing Flipper Anderson.

“If I was interested in being a good receiver in the NFL, I think he was a good guy that I could watch,” Bruce said. “I didn’t really have to talk to him. I could just watch what he did and just do the same things that he did and get the same results.”

And if that’s how he did it, then DAGNABBIT…that’s how they ALL should do it! So far, Grandpa Simpson…I mean, Isaac Bruce has gone as far as forfeiting $25,000 in workout bonuses just to avoid having to talk to the sniveling whippersnappers employed by the “two score and niners”. To date, he’s only been around his teammates during one mandatory minicamp.

“So, if I’m a mentor, I’ll be that. If I’m not, I’m not.” Bruce says. Well put, Isaac! Be on the lookout for Isaac Bruce’s charitable foundation, the “Shut Up and Watch, You Big Dummy! Foundation” where he will take inner city youth to various park benches in suburban areas where they can observe people in suits doing normal things.

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