Belichick Hearts Vick SO MUCH!!!In a press conference today, that rat bastard Bill Belichick said when questioned about Michael Vick:

“Michael is an outstanding player, hasn’t played in a couple of years.  But right now, our focus is on our team and our players and trying to get the New England Patriots ready and so that’s really where my attention’s been. But he’s a tremendous athlete. Where exactly he is right now, I don’t know.”

Immediately, headlines sprang from media outlets everywhere:

“Patriots Interested In Vick?”

“Could Vick Be Close To Signing With The Patriots?”

I’m not so sure that our hype mongering buddies dug quite deep enough into the bland ambiguous statement from Belichick, though.  It’s pretty clear by Belichick’s statement above what he’s ACTUALLY trying to say:

When asked about the possibility of signing Michael Vick, Belichick expressed that he enjoy’s Vick’s work on the field.  Does this mean, as RotoWorld put it that “Belichick must love winning more than dogs.”  Nay, Nay!  We must dig deeper to find the true meaning of Belichick’s statement.  Belichick actually despises PETA more than he loves dogs.  Why would a man despise PETA besides the whole Sea Kittens thing?  BECAUSE BILL BELICHICK WAS BEATEN WITH STALKS OF CELERY BY VEGAN BULLIES IN GRADE SCHOOL!

Oh snap, John Clayton, you just got scooped!

Come on, Bill Belichick would tell you that he liked the movie Gigli, pork brains and gravy, and pink Mini Coopers if the media asked him…

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