- @HHReynolds I've still got my old Larry Bird. I think you can see his little plastic nutsack from those short shorts. in reply to HHReynolds #
I’ve been beating myself over the head for weeks now trying to decide how best to work The ING Report. It finally dawned on me to go to the people… If you had the choice between paying, say…$10 for each pick, but you have to decide which game you want the spread on, or paying $299 for an entire season’s worth of picks, which would you prefer?Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.
What a time to start installing VOIP around the office and then go on vacation in the middle of nowhere. I have missed the chance to pertinently comment on what seems like every interesting thing that has ever happened in the NFL. It all has to coincide with the times that I’m busy as shit? Here goes my best shot at trying to catch back up:
+ Since when did Tony Dungy become the Jesse Jackson of the NFL? First he uses his Jedi mind tricks getting Vick signed, then he openly sets his sights on Marvin Harrison, telling the Chicago Bears, “I would encourage Lovie to sign him if they had an opening,” While you’re at it making sure people have work in the NFL, why don’t you go be Obi-Wan Kenobi on Michael Crabtree’s cousin? “You ain’t gonna get paid, young fellow, you gonna get PLAYED!”
+ Michael Vick, back in the NFL…AWESOME! Michael Vick, back in the NFL playing a couple of Wildcat plays per game…not as awesome. Am I the only one who is, YES! disgusted by killing and torturing dogs, but is also a little pleased to see psychotic behavior in a football player? It’s football for Chrissakes! It’s as close to the gladiators we’ve got anymore. We need crazy in there. They’ve got pads on! Get the crazy out there! Yes, killing dogs is wrong and terrible, but psychos in an already violent sport? Great news. I just wish he had’ve gotten signed by a team that could have given him more playing time…and some brass knuckles.
+ Why in the name of Giada De Laurentiis does this video even exist?
How can watching that video NOT make you vomit with rage? It’s like watching Paris Hilton talk about her fucking chihuahua. It’s like watching clips on the news about Michael Jackson 45 days later. I drove through Kiln, MS today on the way home from vacation I wanted to leave a flaming bag of poop on his doorstep, but then I remembered he wasn’t home.
- In McComb, MS in a cabin by the lake. 3 kids, no TV, no internet, rain predicted all weekend. I wonder which kid I'll eat first? #
- Why is it that 10 times out of 10 when you see a car with "IN TOW" on the back on the interstate, it's a Mexican driving? #
- RT @terrellowens: Yayyyyyy! Aaron Maybin signed!!! I think! @ArmAss picturing TO saying "Yayyyyy!" makes me chuckle. #
- I kind of miss civilization. #
- But not terribly… #
- They don't take dollard bill here… http://twitpic.com/euojy #
- Home again. Wow. Home never smelled so good. Missed a bunch. Catch up blogging tonight! #
- Running into someone you haven't seen since grade school after 4 days worth of camping. Awesome. #
- @sharapovasthigh Funny, every headline about that read "Phillies Turn Unassisted Triple Play". No mention of Bruntlett in headline. in reply to sharapovasthigh #
For the past couple of years, we have had a Pick ‘Em contest where all of you guys get together and try your damndest to beat my wife in NFL Pick ‘Ems. Many have tried, most have failed. I would love to say that I have something to do with her picks, but she will literally turn her laptop away from me if I try to see who she’s picking. The fact of the matter is, over the past two years she has finished 2nd in 2008 and 3rd in 2007.
She even beat me in 2007 (I was 4th). But, in 2008, I brought out the big guns and cheated. I used the prototype of my newest tool, The ING Report, to lay waste to everyone in the league and wound up in first place by a mile with 64% accuracy against the spread on all games for the entire season.
With some changes I’ve made, I feel like 64% will be nothing by the end of this season.
So, that being said, the wager this season is: Anyone in the Armchair Association Beat My Wife! Pick ‘Em League who can defeat my wife in correct picks at the end of this season will win a free year’s subscription to The ING Report for next season (a $200 value). With that, you will get a weekly report emailed to you predicting the scores and spreads of every game for that week, along with the probabilities of accuracy to show you where the lock games are. Great for those of you who bet on NFL games.
To join the Beat My Wife! league, follow these instructions:
1. You’ll need a Yahoo! account. If you don’t have one, start one.
3. Use Group ID# 7850
4. Password: armass
5. Create your Pickset name, and prepare yourself for Week 1 of Beat My Wife!