There’s more than a few constants in life that I just can’t comprehend:  American Idol will be the most popular television show again next year.  Kids will feel like they’ve accomplished something by getting good at Guitar Hero.  (ed. note: Danger!  Perilously close to Andy Rooney territory!  Retreat!)  Somebody in your league is gonna draft Stephen Gostkowski in the 5th or 6th round in your draft.

Why do things like this happen?  Because Larry The Cable Guy exists.  I blame him for every stupid thing in the world.

So, let’s go over some things before Larry The Cable guy gets his stupid talons in your soul:

KICKERS ARE KICKERS ARE KICKERS!

Let me give a couple of numbers.  These numbers are the Average Fantasy Points Per Game for two kickers:

9.94 & 8.94

This must be the #1 and #2 kicker available, right?  Of course not…  9.94 belongs to #1 overall kicker Stephen Gostkowski, 8.94 belongs to the 14th overall John Kasay.  That’s right ladies and gentlemen, ONE point per game.  But, the big difference is that while Gostkowski is being drafted in the early middle of drafts, Kasay might not get drafted at all.

Here’s another number to chew on: 8.15.  That’s the average number of Fantasy Points Per Game generated by the Top 25 kickers in the NFL last season.  That puts Gostkowski about 1.8 points above the average kicker.  Hell, #25, of the world record worst team ever, Jason Hansen, scored an average of 6.88 per game.  That’s just over 3 points per game.  That’s nothing!  That’s like the difference between DeAngelo Williams and Adrian Peterson last season.

Now, I’m not saying that Stephen Gostkowski isn’t your best bet at kicker, because he probably is.  I’m just saying let someone else waste their early pick on him…which leads me to my next point:

Glory Fades Quickly

I’ll leave you with a brief rundown of former #1 kickers:

2006 – Neil Rackers – #1 Kicker

2007 – Neil Rackers – #7 Kicker

2007 – Nate Kaeding – #1 Kicker

2008 – Nate Kaeding – #5 Kicker

2008 – Nick Folk – #1 Kicker

2009 – Nick Folk – #12 Kicker

They sure don’t hang on to that #1 ranking for very long do they?  Think of the children.  Don’t draft a kicker until your last pick…

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