• All 3 kids and I just had a spazzo dance party to Mr Roboto in the kitchen. Then I saw my wife filming it. They'll never find her body. #
  • Just looked in the bathroom mirror and realized I have a SEVERE Billy Mays thing going on: Beard, blue shirt, sleeves rolled up, khaki pants #
  • ArmAss now has a forum to discuss fantasy football and whatnots. Let's not let it sit dormant, K? http://bit.ly/20zi2R #
  • @Razzball Jim Belushi being alive is embarrassing to God. in reply to Razzball #
  • @SPORTSbyBROOKS Quinn "cheap-shotting" Suggs is like when my 3 year old hit me in the back of the head with a stuffed dog. in reply to SPORTSbyBROOKS #
  • What was it like working with Suzanne Somers and Joyce DeWitt? @rainnwilson Josh Ritter fans. Tweet me your ??s & requests #
  • I dont care how batshit Lohanesque she is, she is as hot as they come RT @sharapovasthigh: Megan Fox… http://bit.ly/1QrbBP #
  • @SPORTSbyBROOKS If you like sports you probably already follow him, but SbB has become my favorite sports blog. #FF in reply to SPORTSbyBROOKS #
  • @FanIQ Consistantly awesome articles and tweets. #FF in reply to FanIQ #
  • @sharapovasthigh Thanks for the #FF love! in reply to sharapovasthigh #
  • @gehrig38 At quick glance, your ankle avatar looked like a vagina. in reply to gehrig38 #
  • @KrisWilliams81 Verizon iPhone = untrue but the Motorola Droid from Verizon is badass. in reply to KrisWilliams81 #
  • My 7 year old just did a kids triathalon. Meanwhile the night before I polished off 4 beers and watched Hot Rod. #
  • Kids triathalon = 1 mile run, 3 mile bike ride, 200 yard swim. #
  • This is the first Bucs game I've gotten to watch this season, Josh Freeman's game is much better than I expected. #
  • After watching Freeman bowl the football there, I retract my initial enthusiasm. #
  • I'm sorry, even with hotdogs. If you serve my food with a caulking gun you're a fucking slob. #
  • Whenever Ray Lewis decides to retire, the NFL will have lost at least 15% of it's excitement. Holy shit. #
  • I look forward to watching him as the Chosen One on Lost. @amybruni: Joseph insisted I tweet a pic of him too :) http://twitpic.com/qjlno #
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