3:00PM.  December 5th, 2009.  Atlanta, GA.  SEC Championship.

Down here in South Alabama, we’re 3 hours from the closest professional football team.  However, we’re chocked full of college football.  There’s a birthright that you receive here where you can freely choose The University of Alabama or Auburn University.  But, you must pick a side.  And like when the SS came storming through the streets of Germany, when someone asks for your papers, you better damn well have your papers.

Well, I’m gonna stand my ground.  Do you know where I was last Friday afternoon while the Crimson Tide squeaked out a win over the Tigers?  Hanging Christmas lights in my front yard.

Yeah yeah yeah…  You don’t know me!  You don’t know me!  Only God can judge me!  Why don’t you get a real job and take care of them babies?!

The bottom line is, I went to Montevallo, a small art school near Birmingham.  We didn’t have a football team.  No one in my family has ever attended Alabama or Auburn.  Why do I have to pick a side when I have no attachment to either.  But, one thing you’ll find is that the most crazed fans of these teams who “will beat yo’ ASS” are the people who have never stepped foot in a classroom…maybe ever.  Forget on those campuses.

But, you know what?  There’s a different bottom line below that one.  That bottom line is that…and I’ve caught a bunch of shit about this my whole life…I think college football is bush league.  It’s Pee-Wee League compared to the NFL.

The argument that I hear95% of the time is, “The pros are just in it for the money, college kids play for the love of the game.”

Bull.  Shit.

All of the college kids you see who are any good are playing to get into the NFL and get NFL money.  Thus, they’re essentially playing for money.  And that’s fine.  But, at that level they’re not even playing the same game!  The day I hear Tim Tebow say, “When I’m sitting back in my chair at the J. Crew Accounting Department, I’ll think back on this game and be proud.  Thanks for the job, Dad!” I’ll believe that they play for the love of the game.

There’s nothing wrong with loving college football, but only if you fit both of these criteria:

1. If you must be insanely passionate about a college team, at least have SOME affiliation with that college besides just geographical vicinity.  Otherwise, just say you like the team.  Don’t get in my face and say, “We’re gonna kick your ASS this weekend!”

2. Be willing to admit that college football is nowhere near as good as pro football.  Just like it’s perfectly fine to love minor league baseball, you still have to admit that watching a minor league game is nowhere near as exciting as watching the pros.  They’re pros for a reason!

All that being said, I will be watching the game this Saturday.  But, the only reason I care who wins is because Bodog gave me $20 to bet on the game.

Roll Tide!

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