ArmAss Bites for 2009-12-16

• @sharapovasthigh – Happy Birthday, muggafugga. in reply to sharapovasthigh #
• Wife just regifted book to sons teacher, when she opened it, first page said "To: (wife's name) Thanks! Love (someone else)" Whoops! #
• Didn't John Mayer write a song about that? RT @Eukadanz: An old man just told me that I had a "goldmine" down there. #
• I found out recently that my cousin and her husband are LARPers. They might as well have told me they were into testicle abuse. #
• RT @sportspickle: In all fairness to Reggie Bush, Mario Williams and Vince Young probably wouldn't be better than 3rd string RB either. #
• Do you ever play a game so often on your phone while shitting that you feel the urge to push even when you're not? #
• Why I would imagine most sports bloggers aren't married: "While you're watching the game can you blah blah blah blah blah…" #
• "Dont forget we're going to a children's Christmas musical on Sunday" #whysportsbloggersarentmarried #
• It's the end of an era. Three time champion Deathblowjob will not win their 4th consective championship. Thanks fucking Westbrook. #
• Man you really set her off with all that faggy 'love & respect' business RT @michaelianblack @meganphelps #

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Tags: armchairass, fantasy football, NFL, tweets, twitter