If you’re like any red blooded football fan, by 8:00PM Sunday, February 7th, 2010 you’ll be sticky with wing sauce, slurring your words, and feeling up your sister…I mean…playing “Squares”.

I love Squares.  It’s the perfect way to win money while paying attention to something else.  You arbitrarily write your name on a grid of 100 squares, and then Lady Luck takes over, assigning you random numbers 0-9.  It’s a beautiful thing.  Well, I always find myself wondering, “OK, I got 2 & 5.  Have I just wasted $5.00?”

Well, now I know.  The answer is “Yes.”  I went through every Super Bowl in the history of Super Bowls and created a squares cheat sheet to let you know immediately if you can say “Fuck!” or (in a Wooderson voice) “Alright alright alright!”

So, there have been 43 Super Bowls thus far, and at 4 quarters a game we’ve had 172 quarters of Squares.  What you see above is how many times a Super Bowl quarter has landed on a given square.  Pretty much if you land on a 5…you’re fucked.  If you land on  5 & anything, you have a 4.7% chance of winning.  0 & 7 is your best bet.  You’ve got a 12% chance to win money of you land there.  Even better, if you land anywhere on the 7 column, you’ve got a 37.8% chance of winning at some point in the game.  But, your best bet is if you have a 0, that gets you a 47.7% chance of winning.  But, anyways, I could go on and on…  Hopefully this will bring you some closure early on, so you can get back to drinking.

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

Hmmm...I got nothin'...