What a wuss. You are getting paid millions of dollars to play a game. I don’t know about the rest of you, but showing up to work sixteen times a year (maybe a few more depending on if the planets are aligned correctly), and making a boatload of money sounds really appealing to me. I think I’d be willing to do just about anything to do that (get your minds out of the gutter, fools). I realize they work out and stuff too, but I’d also like to get paid to do that. I’m pretty sure I could play with a mild hamstring sprain.

Yes, I know, Brandon. Much like Josh McDaniels, I haven’t played in the NFL either. I haven’t even played high school football because I am a girl. But you are totally acting like one. I have played competitive sports while injured. I have also given birth, so I know about powering through pain.

You’ll have plenty of time to get back to 100%. You’re not making the playoffs. Eddie Royal? You are badass. You have a much more serious injury than Marshall and I will bet that you will play. But you will not get the job done. The Chiefs are going to take this as an opportunity to wipe their asses with the Broncos. Okay, that is a very bold prediction. Great Googly Moogly, do the Chiefs suck. If they stick with the run, Jamaal Charles can work some magic for them. If Cassel can actually complete a pass, they can get this done. It COULD be Dwayne Bowe’s week. Stranger things have happened.

None of this matters anyway. Baltimore will win and the Jets are going to win, so Denver’s out, regardless.

I’ve actually liked the Broncos this year. McDaniels is amusing to me because he looks like he is 12. Orton is cool with me. I think he got the raw end of the deal in the press with the Cutler trade. Cutler looks like he needs all of Chicago to smack that entitled buttmunch smirk off his face. I’m with Urlacher on Orton, the dude can win games. But not without his teammates.

I have a feeling you might be playing in a new location next year, Brandon. Diva behavior is allowed if you’re, you know, not a total douche in your real life too. But generally, if you have the cops at your house a dozen times for “domestic disturbances,” kind of a dick, and don’t want to help your team make the playoffs, why even bother with you? Just play or keep that pie hole shut.

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Upsets I’d like to see this week (we will stick with “like to see” as my powers of prediction are the suck):

1.Detroit over Chicago – Well, I think I’ve made my feelings for Jay Cutler clear. I feel bad for the Lions. America will cheer if you win your last game. So will my husband.
2.Green Bay over Arizona – Hello, I am a homer. This game doesn’t really matter at all, so Packers, win the only game I will watch this season as just a fan for me. Do it.

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