Actor Andrew Koenig missing in Vancouver
VANCOUVER, British Columbia – Police in West Vancouver have been searching for their long lost Boner for over a week. Boner, the son of Star Trek’s Chekov, had been living in Venice, CA, but when friends invited him to Vancouver, Boner came. Friends say they took Boner out anywhere they could to try and perk him up. Boner had been hanging out, getting into things. But, Boner was slowly going limp. A statement released by the police says that Boner “has recently been despondent and his family and friends are concerned for his well-being.”
When asked what could have beaten their Boner so badly, his family and friends had no answers. “I think he was tired of being Kirk Cameron’s Boner, you know?” says his sister, “I mean Kirk really had a grip on Boner. Think about it, Boner was a goof on Growing Pains. Always spouting off at the wrong time. Boner’s ego was worn down, but it needed to be stroked. Boner just needed to be stroked!”
Police ask that if Boner comes across your path, please hold on to him. When asked, Kirk Cameron only had this statement, “I love Boner. If anyone out there jerks my Boner around, they will have to answer to Jesus. So, just know, you jerk MY Boner around, you’re jerking Jesus’ Boner around, too!”
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