“Today at the chili cook off, I farted on your friend. I’m just kind of embarassed, so I wanted to write and apologize. I was really drunk, and your friend was just babbling on like a pretentious asshole. He was carrying on about being a trumpeteer for B.B. King or some shit… It was just [...]

Okay, that’s it. I’m fucking sick of it. Sometime at the beginning of January, a guy named Lam Luong, a local crackhead who got fed up with his wife constantly nagging about his crack smoking, decided to show his wife that he was the man and that he’s gonna fucking do what he’s gonna fucking [...]

So, I was standing in the return line at Best Buy yesterday. I had to take a dump, so I was a little pissed off about having to stand in line for 20 minutes when my return wasn’t even Christmas related… So, anyways, I’m standing there and I see this magnificent white trash chick standing [...]

Now that we’re upon the Christmas shopping season, you’ll probably spend at least one hour in a mall atmosphere. Here’s a few tips to make that trip all the less painless: 1. Stop off at a convenience store and buy a big fountain drink, like a 44 ounce Coca-Cola. Then, stop off at the liquor [...]

So, there’s a family down the road from us who my wife and I are freindly with. They have rabbits in a cage outside, and when we go on our evening walk every day, we stop off at their house briefly so that my son can check out the rabbits while we chat with the [...]

I was thinking about something the other day as I watched my son throw a football with some neighborhood kids. At age 5, he’s already got a pretty tight spiral. What can I say? He comes from good genes, right? Wrong. While I have always loved sports, I have always been clumsy and awkward when [...]