Well, little did most of America know, the 2008 MLB Amateur Draft kicks off on June 5th. Unlike the NFL Draft and it's months of hypothesizing and glory holing that goes on before it and the NBA Draft with their wily lottery draft. No, the MLB draft loses a little luster to the quick and to the point drafts of the NFL and NBA. With 50 rounds plus Supplemental drafts, the MLB draft is carried out in dark draft rooms over telephones with about as much fanfare as your wife has to watching your fantasy baseball draft.

Another reason that the MLB Draft draws as much attention as the World Series of Lumberjacks, besides the 41 more rounds that it has on the NFL and NBA combined, is that while most first rounders in the NFL and NBA become immediate stars, MLB first rounders quite often wash out easier than the cast of Cop Rock.

That being said, let's go through the past 20 years of #1 overall MLB draft picks and look at where they are now.


1987 - Ken Griffey Jr. - OF - Seattle Mariners - If it hadn't been for a hamstring injury in 2001, we could have been watching "The Kid" break Bonds' record right about now. But, we'll have to settle for 500+ now and Cooperstown in his near future.

1988 - Andy Benes - P - San Diego Padres - Elaine's brother did pretty well for himself, retiring in 2002 with 2000 strikeouts and 155 wins. An All-Star in 1993, MLB leader in losses and strikeouts in 1994, and coming in third in Cy Young balloting in 1996. He was also the very first Diamondback in the history of Diamondbacks.

1989 - Ben McDonald - P - Baltimore Orioles - If you didn't have the Upper Deck Ben McDonald rookie card with him glaring menacingly down from his perch 6 feet, 7 inches from the ground hard cased on your dresser...well...maybe you weren't as naive as I was when he was drafted. Big Ben came in with a whisper and left with a fizzle in 1997. Even when he was at his best, the suckass Oriole offense kept him below .500 on the Win-Loss chart.

1990 - Chipper Jones - SS - Atlanta Braves -He's done one or two good things in his career, but I can't get behind a man with a wrap around sunglass tan line that goes by "Chipper".

1991 - Brien Taylor - P - New York Yankees - The biggest bust on the list so far was also one of the most hyped players of my childhood. I remember with great clarity the moment I pulled his rookie card from a pack and my jaw dropped. I had just wondered into a WINDFALL! I'm retiring in COSTA RICA! He seemed well on his way, but in 1993 he tore his labrum in a fistfight and fell apart. He never got above Double A again, and now flips houses for profit.

1992 - Phil Nevin - 3B - Houston Astros - At one point, one of the most feared fantasy threats on the hot corner, Nevin's name eventually became synonymous with 60-Day Disabled List. He farted around the league injuring various appendages from 2001-2006 where he retired.

1993 - Alex Rodriguez - SS - Seattle Mariners -He turned out to be pretty good.

1994 - Paul Wilson - P - New York Mets - Coming in with the Mets in 1996, Wilson sucked going 5-12 with 109 Ks and a 5.38 pre-Game of Shadows ERA. He didn't see the majors again until with the Devil Rays in 2000 where he continued to further hitters careers for 5 years before retiring in the minors in 2006 with a career 40-58 record and a batter friendly 1.2 HR/9 career average.

1995 - Darin Erstad - OF,P - California Angels - Erstad started off his career with 5 years of VERY respectable baseball, culminating with an unreal 2000 when he went 121/25/100/28/.355. He followed that up with a 2001 that went like this: 89/9/63/24/.258 and he never got better. He currently is a spare body for the Astros.

1996 - Kris Benson - P - Pittsburgh Pirates - Benson's biggest post 1996 #1 overall selection achievement is repeatedly nailing the former Mrs. Benson.

1997 - Matt Anderson - P - Detroit Tigers - One of the only relief pitchers selected #1 overall in the history of MLB Drafts, Anderson routinely averaged almost one strikeout per inning in relief for much of his career. However, with a career ERA of 5.19 and a HR/9 average of 1.05, his reliability was always in question. After a short stint as closer for the Tigers in 2001, Anderson eventually found himself bouncing around the minors where he remains today in the Rockies farm system.

1998 - Pat Burrell - 1B - Philadelphia - A shadowy figure to own in the fantasy world, Burrell is notorious for ups and downs. Will he hit 35 HRs or will he hit 18? Will he hit .305 or will he hit .205? No one ever knows, you just have to close your eyes a leap when his name comes around on the fantasy draft board.

1999 - Josh Hamilton - OF - Tampa Bay Devil Rays - Almost 10 years since he was drafted Hamilton is starting to live up to the promise he had before rewriting The Basketball Diaries for four years.

2000 - Adrian Gonzalez - 1B - Florida Marlins - Adrian Gonzalez is quietly becoming one of the best first basemen in the league as we speak.

2001 - Joe Mauer - C - Minnesota Twins - With a haughty batting title in 2006 and sideburns to match, Joe Mauer has become, in my opinion, one of the most overrated players in baseball.

2002 - Bryan Bullington - P - Pittsburgh Pirates - Originally drafted #1111 overall in 1999, he went to college until 2002 and became #1. Good for him. I hope he saved his signing bonus. Bullington has played at all levels, apparently throwing cabbage balls. He currently sports a 3.93 K/9 average and a 5.89 ERA at the major league level. That's also why he's currently playing Triple A ball.

2003 - Delmon Young - OF - Tampa Bay Devil Rays - More famous for throwing his bat at an umpire and receiving a 50 game suspension for it, Delmon looked very promising last year. This year, however, the Devil Rays are finding it hard to contain their giggles from the Twins.

2004 - Matthew Bush - SS - San Diego Padres - Drafted as a shortstop, where he has played throughout his major league career, this year, the Padres' Lake Elsin A+ team is giving Bush a shot at playing pitcher. This move may have come from his ability to hit like a pitcher. In 4 seasons in Single A ball, Bush has hit 3 home runs and has a batting average of .219. HOWEVER, since the move to reliever, Bush is sporting a mighty 19.64 K/9 average with 1 ER over 7.2 innings of relief. Given time, Bush could turn into the next Trevor Hoffman (who was also a shortstop at the time of his draft).

2005 - Justin Upton - OF - Arizona Diamondbacks - Currently one of the cornerstones of the hottest young team anyone's seen since Kelly Kapowski, Jessi Spanno, and Lisa Turtle took on the Academic Bowl.

2006 - Luke Hochevar - P - Kansas City Royals - Hochevar was originally drafted #1171 in 2002, #40 in 2005, and finally #1 in 2006. He only became a starting pitcher in 2005 where he did well enough to trick the Royals into drafting him #1 overall. Now, he's putting up marginally good numbers in the MLB. Okay, that's polite, but his numbers aren't BAD. Okay? Okay. I don't see Hochevar setting the night on fire any time soon.

2007 - David Price - P - Tampa Bay Devil Rays -The man to watch. In 2007 Price carried Vanderbilt away with a mind boggling 13.1 K/9 average over 133.1 IP! What's better? How about a 0.95 WHIP to go along with his 2.63 ERA? He had elbow surgery in the off-season that has kept his entry to the MLB on hold for the moment. But, once he's healed his call up is imminent. The major question, though, is how will this elbow injury affect his 13.1 K/9 average?

Labels: baseball, mlb, mlb draft

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Here's one I play with my friends, now you can too:

It's very simple. Try to guess the following morning's newspaper headlines after a game from both your local paper(s) and the opponents local paper(s).

For example, my favorite sports team is the Buffalo Sabres. Whenever they win the headlines the next morning in their opponents papers always involve 'slicing' or 'carving' or 'stabbing', and when they lose they're always called 'dull'.
"Sabres Slice Senators" or "Thrashers Dull Sabres".

So my friend and I each come up with two headlines (usually one tailored two the home paper and one to the opponent's paper). Whomever has the most matches at the end of the week wins.
Another rule is you have to alternate who gets to go first because there's often an obvious headline.

I had first crack after the Jays swept the Red Sox yesterday so my first pick was, "Thomas Lays Big Hurt on Red Sox".
His was very simple, "Jays Sweep Red Sox"
My second was, "Defensive Blunders Sink Red Sox"
He finished it off with another simple one, "Jays off to good start"

Here are the next day's headlines (Prosportsdaily.com is a great resource for looking them up):

Toronto Star: Big Hurt Delivers Huge Hit
Toronto Sun: Puttin' A Hurt On
Toronto Sun: Fun Times at the Dome
Globe and Mail: Thomas Puts The Hurt on Boston
Globe and Mail: So the Red Sox were Swept. So What?
Boston Herald: "Big Hurt" put on end of long trip
Boston Globe: Barely Animated Sox are Swept in Toronto
Boston Globe: Celebrating Halladay


Three points for me, two for him and three washes (The Big Hurt Delivers Huge hit one doesn't count for me because it wasn't a pun).

It's good, clean, family fun! Enjoy!

Labels: baseball, Buffalo Sabres, Frank Thomas, mlb, Red Sox, Roy Halladay

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Now, I'm not one to bemoan a life of excess. Certainly not. Almost all of us have had way too much to drink before. Secretly, most of us have at least tried pot, almost certainly we've almost all gotten behind the wheel when we've probably had too much. It happens. It's nothing to pride yourself about of anything, but it happens.

But, here's the thing that's stuck in my craw: Since Josh Hancock's death I've seen articles titled "Why Every Team Needs Someone Like Hancock" and the like. Wait...what? Once again, I can't speak against any intoxicants, I've done my share, but every team needs a drunk frat boy? The only thing that gave Josh Hancock a Josh Hancock Memorial Day instead of a Josh Hancock Public Service Announcement is that he's the only one who died. Just because he's the only one who died, he's now a mentor and a hero who died at the top of his game. If the guy in the stalled car or the tow truck driver had bit the dust along with him, it would've been just another case of athletes gone wild. Maybe the Cincinnati Bengals would've offered him a posthumous contract. (Hmmm...too far? Let's move on.)

I digress, this article isn't to speak ill of Josh Hancock or his lifestyle. I can't say it enough that I understand his lifestyle, I was just luckier when his was mine. No, this article is to talk about the next disgusting abuse of the legal system in the wake of Josh Hancock's death:

Today, Josh Hancock's father officially filed suit against EVERYONE involved. He's suing the restaurant where Hancock had been boozing it up all night for serving him booze after he was already drunk. He's suing the tow truck driver because logs indicate that the driver had been on the scene for 15 minutes prior to Hancock slamming into the back of his truck and for failing to put down road flares, despite the tow truck's giant flashing yellow lights that were reported to have been on. Most appalling of all, however, he's suing the guy whose car stalled on the side of the road.

Yes, folks. He's suing the guy with the broken down car for being "negligent in allowing the vehicle to reach the point where it stalled on the highway and for failing to move it out of the way of oncoming traffic."

So, boys and girls, be sure you change your oil regularly and double check your radiator fluid, because if a drunk athlete wedges himself under the tow truck that AAA called out for you, guess what: You're ruined!

The final cherry on top of this appalling disgrace is that the lawyer for Josh Hancock isn't 100% certain that everyone is getting thoroughly sued, so they are pondering the possibility of throwing the Cardinals and Major League Baseball itself into the mix. I mean, the guy with the broken down car certainly doesn't have enough money to set Hancock's dad up for life, why else would he be driving a broken down car? So, it's best, when you're aiming for the stars, to go after the big boys and their big bucks, you know because...uh...because the Cardinals knew he liked to drink and didn't tell him not to? Because the MLB doesn't test for Miller High Life as stringently as they do for HGH? Yeah, it makes sense...IF YOUR NAME IS JACKIE CHILDS!

In closing, it's sad that Josh Hancock died. Especially since he was doing something I had done many times in the past, it makes you think. But, all the hullaballoo following it is completely misplaced and Hancock's father takes the cake and the cake in front of a child as well. If Josh was a human, I like to think that he would be disgusted at his father as well. Kind of reminds me of Joe Dirt's parents...

Just thought you should know...

Labels: baseball, cardinals, drunk, DUI, hancock, Josh Hancock, mlb, st. louis

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Ah, the few days before pitchers and catchers report to their respective locations and men and women, boys and girls can still relish the impending baseball season with all the hopes and dreams a fan should be allowed. It's a time when everyone is even, destinies hang in limbo, and anything can happen...

Except that's not quite true.

On April 6th, 1973, New York Yankee Ron Blomberg stepped to the plate as the first designated hitter in regular season Major League history. What started as an experiment during Spring Training of 1969 culminated in not so glorious fashion: Blomberg walked. But, it started what has become one of the most arduously argued points in all of American sports. So much so that people who couldn't name a single Yankee player have an opinion on the subject.

Besides creating controversy and bar room arguments for over 30 years, it has also created a great divide that is increasing every year as the hitter generation moves into baseball. Initially created as a way for teams to heighten their batting averages and for aging players to extend their careers, the Designated Hitter role has become more of a power role. It has evolved into a role for Cecil Fielder-esque goliaths to swat balls over the wall like elephants tossing midgets, all the while completely disregarding the other 80% of the game.

This is all well and good for your average baseball fan who just came to watch homeruns. But, let's face it, these people are retards. Plain and simple. Sorry, but it had to be said. Baseball consists of four elements at it's most simplistic break down: batting, baserunning, fielding, and pitching. Your average DH only does one of the four, and if you want to break it down even further even the best DH only does that one thing 30% of the time.

Well, la dee da! Another opponent of the Designated Hitter! Get in line, Jerk Ass... Right? Okay, well, I'm coming at you with another point and I'm also bringing some history:

Major League Baseball introduced the DH to the regular season in 1973, as I said above. They didn't adopt the DH into the World Series until 1976, and even then they only used the DH in even-numbered World Series years until 1986 when it became an every year event. Following up with that in 1989, they decided to fully integrate the DH into Major League Baseball by including it in the All-Star Game.

Well, let's take a step back and look at what the Designated Hitter truly means to baseball. The DH was created as a way to bring dipping team batting averages up and allow aging players to prolong their careers. Both of these original concepts are nothing but PR marketing. Pitchers are dominating the game, how can we shake things up? As our crowd favorites retire, attendance dips, how can we keep people in the stands? Two questions, one answer.

Suddenly, like a shot in the ass, we are seeing the after effects of the MLB's marketing "supplement". Since the DH was integrated into the All-Star Game, the American League has won 14 out of 17 matchups. The National League has only won 11 of the World Series' that utilized the Designated Hitter since 1979, and is only 4 of 10 in the past ten seasons.

The bottom line here is that this over-engorged marketing ploy has created a gap in statistical equivalences that is only growing wider during the "steroids/hitters" era. So, the question I pose to you, the reading public, is how much longer can this continue? It seems obvious that Major League Baseball will never remove the Designated Hitter. With David Ortiz as the current Crown Prince of baseball, the Designated Hitter's presence has never been stronger. With the current trend of players getting more powerful and less agile by the season, the Designated Hitter's place in the future of baseball couldn't be less questionable.

How much longer do we, the National League fans: the self-proclaimed baseball purists, get to watch the game we remember and love? How much longer do we have until baseball is forced to institute the Designated Hitter into the National League to create parity between the leagues once again? The clock is running. We may hate it, we may make promises we have no intention of keeping after it's done, but it seems inevitable.

Just thought you should know...

Labels: american league, baseball, bud selig, designated hitter, dh, fantasy baseball, mlb, national league, nl, selig

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Back in the '70s and the '80s, the moustache was as prevalent as track marks up the arms of today's players. Everywhere you looked there was a bushy broom dangling from the lips of greats from Eddie Murray to Robin Yount, not to mention the esteemed Rollie Fingers and his Brylcremed masterpiece. Well, at some point the stache went south. Replaced by other methods of displaying masculinity, it's popularity plummetted. As we'll see shortly, the flavor-saver is experiencing a resurrection of sorts. Slowly, we're seeing it's kitschy return to the Major Leagues. Now, let's take a moment to marvel at the Top 5 Brooms in the MLB today:

#5. Randy Johnson Ever since he joined the New York Yankees, The Big Unit has been less than his normal spectacular self. At times, he's down right stunk. Some people (especially some people who live around the Massachusetts area) would say that it's his tenure in New York that's done it. The pinstripes have a way of taking an All-Star and knocking him down a few notches once he puts them on. But, I have a different theory: Run your mouse over the picture to the left. Yeah. Are you familiar with the biblical story of Samson? The brute who loses his strength with a haircut. I blame George Steinbrenner! Give Randy his mullet and broom back and you've got a Cy Young candidate. Take it away, and all you have left is #5 on the Top 5 Moustaches In The Majors Today. Sorry, Randy...you had so much potential for this list...

#4. Todd Jones There's something about the Fu Manchu style of moustache that screams "badass". You can slap it on your goofiest pastey white guy and suddenly go from jolly to scary. These things would make Drew Carey look imposing. That's just what's happened here. Minus the Fu Manchu, Todd Jones would just be a 38 year old cornbread Georgian. Add the Fu Manchu, we've got a 38 year old cornbread Georgian who just might kick your ass. That's why I praise the Fu Manchu. Never lose the Fu Manchu, Todd, lest ye go the way of Randy Johnson sans mullet.

#3. Gary Sheffield Now Sheffield is a physical specimen that is better appreciated up close. You have to break out the magnifying glass to engorge yourself in the intricacies attended to each detail. With an accoutrement hardly worthy of the title "stache", Sheffield's needle thin pin stripe is honed to a precision that would make Clarke Gable ask to touch it just to feel the energy. This pinnacle of stache artistry has been used by boy bands and Puerto Rican chulos. But, it's presence in baseball has been sorely missed. Thank you, Gary Sheffield, for giving us the moustache equivalent of the Kawasaki Ninja.

#2. Sal Fasano Sal rocks the Fu Manchu just like Todd Jones! What gives with the scoring discrepancy? Well, it's just that Sal got his moustache by killing Rod Beck, splicing Beck's moustache genes with Wilford Brimley's moustache DNA, crossing Bill Ray Cyrus' mullet DNA with Antonio Banderas' and drinking the potion, thus creating the crown prince of facial hair, Sal Fasano. Interesting side note: One time, Sal Fasano took the day off. Joe Torre was short handed with Posada under the weather. So, Fasano's broom suited up and went 3-for-4 with a double and picked Carl Crawford off of first.

#1. Jose Valentin Ladies and Gentlemen! I present to you the Sultan of Stache, the Broom Master...Jose Valentin. With a stache so razor sharp that he's killed two former wives just by kissing them goodnight, Valentin is a king among men. With the moustache equivalent of a ninja's katana sword, Valentin has combined the substance of a Randy Johnson, the masculinity of a Fasano, and the stunning precision of a Sheffield. It's bulky enough for you to take notice, yet cut in a way that makes a diamond look like a pile of cottage cheese. This, boys and girls, is the pinnacle of human achievement. It demands respect without speaking a word. Case in point, last night in Game 7 of the NLCS against the Cardinals, Valentin took a foul ball off of the moustache...didn't even flinch. He just reached up to flick any pieces of baseball that might have gotten stuck in his stache and stepped back in the box. That, my friends, is a MOUSTACHE!

I hope that the MLBPA will soon realize the power of the stache and work harder to try and bring back the 40% moustache representation that we saw 20 to 30 years ago. In an effort to get the MLB to recognize the importance of the moustache in baseball, I hereby decree the following days until the end of the World Series, Stache Week. Grow your moustache and wear it with pride! I know I will!

Labels: baseball, gary sheffield, jose valentin, major league baseball, mlb, moustache, randy johnson, sal fasano, todd jones

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