Every league is going to be chock full of unimaginative, boring team names like Sith Lords or KLM1972 or Colorado Cubs. It's awful. Me being the type to harp over a team name longer than I do when I'm debating on whether to use my #1 waiver priority on Johnny Cueto or not, I'm generally proud of the names I come up with.

While I'm on the subject, you may play with a team named this, and I have a friend who has played with me for years and he one day decided to not only use it, but claim that HE, in fact, was the first to use it. I'm here to stake claim to The Money Shots right here and now. Feel free to use it, but like Richard Lewis with "the (blank) from hell." I just want you to know who coined the team name.

Let's delve into the magnificent world of some of the more offensive fantasy baseball team names, some of which I played against, some of which I just made up for this article:


12. Moises Alou's Pee Hands
11. Brett Myers' Fist
10. Peter Gammons is a ZOMBIE!
9. Wang on Min Chien
8. Playing With Dick Pole
7. TP For My Pujols
6. Kevin Mitchell's Cat Head
5. Kruk's Testicle
4. McNamee Shot In My Ass
3. Ozzie Guillen's Goddamn Motherfuckers
2. Corey Lidle Flight Plan
1. Coolbaugh's Brain

Got anything more offensive? I'd love to hear them. Post away, you heartless scumbags!

Labels: Albert Pujols, Brian McNamee, Chien Min Wang, Corey Lidle, Dick Pole, fantasy baseball, John Kruk, Mike Coolbaugh, mlb, Moises Alou, offensive team names, Ozzie Guillen, Peter Gammons

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There's three general types of people that you are going to encounter in your average fantasy baseball (or any sport, really) league. There's the guy who got in over his head, didn't realize the amount of time necessary for fantasy baseball and now only makes appearances in the league a few times a month when the message board is filled with posts calling for his head for playing with a team full of DLs. There's the guy who checks his team frequently, but always has a bitch about how he's got a "REAL job" and he doesn't have time to sit up until waivers clear at 2:00AM or peruse the trading block all day from 8 to 5, therefore his team suffers and he harbors a grudge against everyone else with make believe jobs. Then, there's the guy who IS up until 2:00AM waiting for waivers to clear, he's the first to snatch up Dan Wheeler as he picks up his first save, and then declares everyone else in the league to be decidedly retarded for their inability to beat him to the punch.

Sadly, it's very frequent that personality #3 is in contention. Also unfortunately, the majority of us fall under personality #2. So, what that means for us is that in order to compete in a league of the over zealous, we must fight dirty. We must take advantages where ever and whenever they may come. So, I preface this article by saying the following are despicable acts that will probably piss someone off, but as Steinbrenner could tell you if he wasn't quivering with demetia, is that the morally deficient can and will succeed. So, if you're up to fighting dirty, here's some ideas:


1. Always work a trade with a drunk person - I don't know about you, but pretty regularly I get late night IMs from people that inevitably go like this: "Dude, what's up?" "Nothing, about to go to bed" "Man, I am fucking WASTED!" "Oh really?" "YAIS!" "Hey, I was looking at your team, we should make a trade." Using this strategy I was once able to pull off a Albert Pujols for Steve Kline & Runelvys Hernandez deal that shook my league to the core. Unfortunately, I was also taken by this against my better drunken judgement in the form of Ryan Howard and Hanley Ramirez for Carlos Zambrano and Vladimir Guerrero in the early parts of last season. It always works. Your first response to "I'm drunk." (unless it's a chick, in which case your response should obviously be "I have a case of High Life, I should swing by.") should be, "We should make a trade."

2. Cycle pitchers - This really only works in head to head leagues with large or no transaction limits. Hold two pitching slots and search the waiver wire for anyone starting the next day. Pick the best matchup and pick them up. Next thing you know you're throwing up 100 Ks a week and 10-12 wins. Your ERA and WHIP could suffer, but it might not, either.

3. Work the last place team - This happens in every league I'm in. Personality #1 guy has long given up and sometime in July, all the sudden he gets transaction happy giving away bargain basement deals. Dice-K for Brian Bannister, Ryan Howard for Miguel Tejada, Jose Reyes for Delmon Young. Don't get too crazy on the lopsidedness, you don't want to get vetoed if your league offers that. But, you can ALWAYS get dollars for pennies with the last place teams.

4. Play the maximum innings game - Something that busted me once, that I didn't know until recently is that even if you have .1 innings remaining on your maximum innings pitched EVERY pitcher that pitches that day counts. So, here I was, 12 Ks away from the championship on the last day of the fantasy season. I had hit my max a day before, and I had no one pitching. The guy behind me in 2nd (with 12 less Ks than me) had 1 inning left until his max. He filled his pitching spots with anyone and everyone who was pitching that day. I laughed and said, "Too little, too late." He accumulated like 28 Ks that day, moved into first, and took the championship. Needless to say, I was floored. I flipped out. I had thoughts of burning Yahoo to the ground, mailing my Congressman to have this guy beheaded, signing him up for a visit from local Scientologists... But, eventually I accepted the fact and vowed to take advantage of that glitch from that day forth.

5. Lock down the waiver wire - This may be the most devious and unscrupulous method yet. But, let's say for instance that you're coming down to the end of the week, or the end of the season, the guy you're fighting against is behind you by 3 SBs. Go to the waiver wire, pick up Dave Roberts. Drop him for Reggie Willits, drop him for Kenny Lofton, drop him for Rajai Davis, and so forth. Do this for all the available big SB guys, that will effectively put them all on the 2 day waiver period, making them unavailable for pick up until it's too late for them. That's really dirty, I feel dirty even mentioning it.

So, there's some ideas to keep in mind this season. I told you they weren't morally proper, but sometimes you've gotta kick 'em in the nuts to take 'em down, right?

Labels: cycle pitchers, drunk, fantasy baseball, last place, maximum innings, trades, undermining, waiver wire

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We've been screwing around in the wading pool with all of the various infield positions, but now it's time to slide on some floaties and plunge into the murky abyss. The vast Outfielder Ocean. It's inhabitants are as varying as the inhabitants of the Mariana Trench (the deepest part of the ocean where life barely exists, for those who aren't down with their oceanology.) You've got giant whales lumbering around (Carlos Lee), violent predators (Jose Guillen, Delmon Young), and puny prey (Juan Pierre, Kenny Lofton).

Perusing the outfielders is mush like stepping into Super Wal-Mart, except you don't feel like killing yourself afterward. There's merchand...Jesus, enough of the metaphors, jackass. Let's break out some sleepers and busters:


Sleepers:

1. Jacoby Ellsbury - Boston Red Sox - If everyone knows he's a sleeper, does that player still remain a sleeper? In this case I'll say yes, because I don't think everyone realizes the kind of player Ellsbury has the potential to be, especially playing for perennial contender Boston. Last season Ellsbury only showed up in 33 games, if we project his numbers from 2007 into a 145 game season in 2008, his stat line looks like this: 91 runs, 14 home runs, 83 RBI, and 41 stolen bases. Quite a deal at his current ranking of #42 among all outfielders.

2. Josh Hamilton - Texas Rangers - This guy's had a GREAT spring. Add that to the fact that he belted 19 home runs in 90 games all the while maintaining an almost .300 batting average, and I get VERY excited. Hitting in a light Rangers lineup, the pressure will be on Hamilton to perform. But he's projected out to hit 33 out of the park this season. I like those odds from someone you can get in the middle rounds of a draft.

3. Chris Young - Arizona Diamondbacks - I was at a double header for the Mobile BayBears (formerly the Padres Double-A affiliate) where the BayBears were playing the Birmingham Barons (White Sox affiliate). I sat there and watched Chris Young steal 4 bases in the first game, then in the second game he smacked two home runs and stole two more bases. I knew right there we were going to see big things from this guy, and sure enough, three years later, here we are. Young's average isn't pretty, it's not even 2 AM, Goldschlager, back alley doable. But, who cares when I feel good projecting out 30 home runs and 35 stolen bases from the 22nd ranked outfielder. Look out, Soriano.

4. Jerry Owens - Chicago White Sox - Ladies and gentlemen, meet the next Juan Pierre. Jerry Owens might hit like Jerry's Kids, but he runs like Jesse Owens. The kid has all but earned the starting spot in center for the White Sox, and stole 32 bases in 93 games. Assuming Owens holds on to the starting gig all season, expect 50+ SBs, but not much else. What's even more interesting, he's only owned on 11% of ESPN teams.

5. Jacque Jones - Detroit Tigers - He fell off the map after a piss poor season being shuffled around in a crowded Cubs outfield last season. Well, for now, he's got a starting gig in Detroit's powerful lineup and, once again, if you look historically last season was Jacque's only bad season since 1999. He's not too old pick up where he left off in 2006 when he slugged 27 dingers. And, as the 84th ranked outfielder he can be had for the price of an Oreo cookie.

Busters:

1. Bobby Abreu - New York Yankees - It wasn't that long ago that I was singing the praises of people like Abreu. The type who can hit and run. But, then I had an epiphany. If you look at HRs and SBs as singular stats, 16 home runs isn't very many and neither is 25 stolen bases. On top of that, Bobby will be 34 this year, right around the time where players not named Kenny Lofton start slowing down on the base paths. If he pulls a 15/20 season this year, that doesn't bode well for the 14th ranked outfielder.

2. Eric Byrnes - Arizona Diamondbacks - Ummm... Did this guy take a Fred McGriff video baseball course in 2006 or something? How often do you see a 30 year old run of the mill player suddenly break out into superstardom? Not often, and I'm often very leary of those who do. You can view him as the 20th ranked outfielder, or you can view him as a guy playing way above his potential, like me. He had a great 2007 with 21 HRs and 50 SBs, but jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, do you HONESTLY think he can pull that off again considering that he's never done it before in 8 seasons?

3. Aaron Rowand - San Francisco Giants - Face facts, Aaron Rowand isn't that great of a fantasy player. He's a hell of a guy to have on your REAL baseball team, but stats wise, he's average to subpar. The best thing he ever did for himself was bust his nose open. Now he's playing in San Francisco where good careers go to die. I'm afraid those 27 homers he hit last season to get him up to 43 on the outfielder rankings will probably be more than he hits in the next two seasons.

4. Johnny Damon - New York Yankees - Coming into 2008, Johnny Hero doesn't even have a position solidified. He's penciled in at DH, but so are Giambi and Shelley Duncan. On top of that, Damon's been on a fairly steady decline since joining the Yanks. He may still be a viable fantasy player, but I can't see any reason whatsoever to put him as the 35th best outfielder.

5. Rick Ankiel - St. Louis Cardinals - Who didn't love this story last year? If you didn't love seeing Rick Ankiel come back from being a monumental flop as a pitcher to become a slugging outfielder, you don't love baseball and you should go back to Communist Russia where bear skin hat wear you. But, come on, this is the epitome of shortsightedness. Ranked number 50 among outfielders, people are actually expecting another miracle. Well, I guess there's probably some people out there who won a million dollars in the lottery and wish they had've held out for the 10 million dollar drawing.

Labels: Aaron Rowand, Bobby Abreu, busters, Chris Young, Eric Byrnes, fantasy baseball, Jacoby Ellsbury, Jacque Jones, Jerry Owens, Johnny Damon, Josh Hamilton, Rick Ankiel, sleepers

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Now we find ourselves moving on to the second best collection of sluggers on the field. Less bulky than first basemen, these guys have been known to steal a base or two as well. As a matter of fact, the de facto #1 overall pick (A-Rod, or Gay-Rod, depending on your region) lives on the hot corner. As a position, the third baseman is generally a 5 category player. It's a rarity to see 0 stolen bases, unless there's a chub like Aramis or a hobbled old man like Rolen, but even Rolen'll get you 4 or 5 stolen bases.

So, let's dive right in and pick apart some third basemen:

Sleepers:

1. Josh Fields - Chicago White Sox - If Josh Fields hadn't gotten twice as many at bats as it takes to remain a rookie, he'd be a prime contender for AL R.O.Y. But, alas, he'll just have to be a very good cheap option for us fantasy types. In those 373 at bats last season, Fields belted 23 home runs and 67 RBI. Sure he only had a .244 average, but let me take this moment to remind you that the difference between a .250 hitter and a .300 hitter over the course of 400 at bats is only 20 hits. The chances of a .250 hitter going 2 for 3 in a game aren't that far off from a .300 hitter. If you pay attention to batting average, you're wasting stress on the wrong areas. Focus on things like why people are stupid enough to go on Moment of Truth. Here's Field's projected 2008 numbers: 76/34/97/1/.272

2. Mark Reynolds - Arizona Diamondbacks - For all intents and purposes, Mark Reynolds had a better season last year than Josh Fields. He had less home runs, but the rest of his stats were better. So, why is 26th ranked third baseman Mark Reynolds below Josh Fields on this sleeper list? Because CURRENTLY he is slated to back up Chad Tracy. That should last all of a month, tops, IF it even lasts past spring training. Reynolds' projected 2008 numbers go like this: 90/25/90/0/.279 You know what, why don't we just call Josh Fields and Mark Reynolds co-#1 sleepers. Okay, done.

3. Edwin Encarnacion - Cincinnati Reds - It's been since Marge Schott's poodle died that the Reds fans have had anything to cheer about. But, guess what, it looks like the NL Central's got a Red Scare on their hands. Now don't get me wrong, Dusty will figure out a way to destroy every single young career on this potentially great team, he always does. But, enough commentary, here's the projected 2008 numbers for this 14th ranked third baseman: 75/19/90/9/.290 Sold? Sold.

Busters:

1. Alex Rodriguez - New York Yankees - No, this is not me saying that Alex Rodriguez will not be great this season. He's been great for 12 consecutive seasons. Why stop now? He won't. I just hate when there's a clear cut default #1 overall pick. You feel like you're forced into him, just like last season with Soriano and that didn't pan out either. There's no way he continues last year's pace, obviously. But, if you don't take him at #1, you'll feel silly. I'm just saying don't expect A-Rod to be ranked #1 after this season.

2. Chipper Jones - Atlanta Braves - Now, I'll admit, I've had it in for Chipper for as long as I can remember. Two things that instantly make me cringe about a person: Racoon eye tan lines from wrap around shades and grown men going by the name Chipper. But, there's something else... I'm concerned when I see a 35 year old baseball player have his best season since he was 29. Now, he'll be 36 shortly after Opening Day, and let's face facts, the Braves aren't looking very good this year. I don't see it. But, maybe I've been blinded by the name Chipper.

3. Evan Longoria - Tampa Bay Devil Rays - Wait a second... What list are we on here? Sleepers or busters? If you've followed baseball in the past season, chances are you've been hearing about this kid. He's averaging a $4 auction value, a 16th Round draft selection, and is the 20th ranked third baseman, all without ever having played a major league game. He may not even start the season in the majors this year either. His Double-A numbers are pretty good (21 HRs in 381 ABs) but he strikes out almost as much as Adam Dunn, and let's face it, playing for the Devil Rays in the major leagues is a pretty damn far cry from the Montgomery Biscuits.

Labels: Alex Rodriguez, busters, Chipper Jones, Edwin Encarnacion, Evan Longoria, fantasy baseball, Josh Fields, Mark Reynolds, sleepers, Third Basemen

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When it comes to five tool wunderkinds of the baseball world, they are few and far between in the land of middle infielders. For what ever reason, shortstop has many more tools at your disposal than second base. In my opinion, this factor makes drafting a great second baseman and shortstop early a priority. There's 20-25 top tier outfielders, I'd be happy with any of the top 10 first or third basemen, but when you get past the top 4 or 5 middle infielders, I start getting sweaty palms.

So, why is it a priority to draft one of the few good middle infielders early and a joke to draft one of the few good catchers early? Because the few good middle infielders will get you 20-30 home runs or 50-70 stolen bases. The few good catchers will get you 15-20 home runs and 120 games played. That's it. So, here's some shortstops you may not be aware of and some that you may be TOO aware of:

Sleepers:

1. Jhonny Peralta - Cleveland Indians - For three years in a row Juh-honny has put up very respectable numbers (a 3 Year Average of 84/19/73/2/.273). So, why is it that this guy is ranked #15 among shortstops? He the starting shortstop for a scrappy contender. Is it his dyslexic name? That must be it, because I don't see any other explanation.

2. Felipe Lopez - Washington Nationals - Oh man, has this guy fallen off the charts. One bad start and mediocre finish will do that in the unforgiving world of fantasy rankings. But, face facts, this guy had some weird things going on. In 2005, he blew the eff up with 23 home runs out of nowhere. In 2006, he forgot how to hit the dinger, but suddenly learned how to steal 44 friggin' bases. Then in 2007 he kind of forgot how to do any of it until the end of the season. I'm gonna put it on the table that he regains better form this season.

3. Jason Bartlett - Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays - Now, Bartlett's probably not going to set your roto numbers on fire with his bat. He'll probably get you 5-6 home runs. His worth lies in the fact that he'll get you 20-25 stolen bases and 70-80 runs. As a matter of fact, his projected stats are very similar to Orlando Cabrera's who is ranked 10 spots ahead of Bartlett. The best news is, you could probably hold off on drafting him until the end of the draft and focus on beefing up other spots once the top 4 or 5 shortstops have been drafted.

Busters:

1. Miguel Tejada - Houston Astros - It happens time and time again. A guy who is "allegedly" on steroids (I use "allegedly" because...come on...) goes off the juice and starts getting injured and his play goes down. Guess what happened to the former second most consecutive games played record holder last season? Right! He missed 30 games or so and his production was way down. Then his name shows up in bold print in the Mitchell Report. Factor that in with the fact that he'll be playing half of his games in the 6th worst park to hit in, suddenly he's not looking so hot.

2. Orlando Cabrera - Chicago White Sox - Why this guy is in the Top 10 shortstops, I don't know. As I said a couple of paragraphs up, you can get similar numbers well down the draft board. I know how these prognosticators work, they love to put 100% validity into the previous seasons stats for some reason and ignore a history of mediocrity. I'm a little more cynical than that. I don't see the value here...

3. Khalil Greene - San Diego Padres - Another instance of one great season makes prognosticators only be able to focus on the giant boobs despite the horse face. Khalil nearly doubled up his home run numbers from his previous three seasons (15, 15, 15, 27) last year. Is it a case of coming of age, or was it just dumb luck? Whatever, Greene is a notoriously slow starter and really shouldn't you be less worried about the guys who drop off at the end of the season during the draft? If a guy is notorious for terrible Augusts and Septembers, that great you can trade him off in July after he tears up the league. You can't do a damn thing with a slow starter who will find his way onto the waiver wire by May.

Labels: busters, fantasy baseball, Felipe Lopez, Jason Bartlett, Jhonny Peralta, Khalil Greene, Miguel Tejada, Orlando Cabrera, shortstops, sleepers

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Second Basemen and Shortstops are two of the most difficult positions to find great value in. They're better than catchers in that they play almost every game and their knees actually function well enough to move them, often times with great speed. That being said, a middle infielder's greatest assets are stolen bases and run generating ability.

Keep this in mind when drafting, it may just blow your mind: The average number of home runs hit by the Top 300 position players in the major leagues is 14. The average number of stolen bases by the same is 7. 132 of those 300 players hit 14 or more home runs, almost half of them. But, only 90 stole 7 or more bases. That's less than a third. Only 27 players averaged 20 or more stolen bases over the last 3 seasons, 12 of those were middle infielders.

What does that mean? It means that stolen bases are the most undervalued category in fantasy baseball. When the Top 300 position players in fantasy baseball stole a total of 2256 bases, and the Top 10 base stealers stole 21% of those bases, sounds to me like grabbing a couple of speedsters real quick should be a pretty big priority.

Anyways, I didn't mean to get on my stolen base soapbox again. Here's some sleepers and busters:

Sleepers:

1. Jayson Nix - Colorado Rockies - If I offered you a kid playing in Colorado who could hit 16 home runs and steal 21 bases for you, is that something you'd be interested in? (Thanks, Bob Ryan!) Remember how I waved off that whole concept with Carlos Guillen as two average stat totals don't make someone good? Well, that only applies to positions that aren't directly next to second base. He's currently slated to start at second for the Rocks, and despite never being in a Major League game before, he's already a prime candidate for R.O.Y.

2. Yunel Escobar - Atlanta Braves - Is he a powerhouse? Nah. Is he a speedster? Not really. He'll get you 10-12 HRs and 10-12 SBs this year. He's currently slated to start at shortstop right now, but second base is a thin group, so cut me some slack. The guy qualifies at almost every position in the infield, which is a great asset to have come Mondays and Thursdays when most teams are taking on a day off.

3. Aaron Hill - Toronto Blue Jays - This guy SHOULDN'T be much of a sleeper, but the man who went 87/17/78/4/.291 last season somehow found himself the #14 over ranked second baseman. I'd understand if it looked flukey a la Carlos Pena, but the guy has only been in the league for 3 seasons and his stats have improved every season. What's a guy gotta do to get some love around here?

Busters:

1. Brandon Phillips - Cincinnati Reds - I have never been a believer in Brandon Phillips. He was supposed to be something special early in his career, and he wasn't. Then, he was supposed to be a huge bust, then suddenly he was good. Now, he's supposed to be a top tier second baseman, and I just keep waiting for the punchline. Plus, Dusty Baker has a penchant for destroying young bright careers.

2. Howie Kendrick - Los Angeles Angels - For the past two years, this guy has popped up on sleeper lists everywhere. But, he can't seem to stay healthy. Then, when he is, he's just not panning out to be the next great thing. Factoring his past two seasons' stats into a full 162 game season (P-SHAW!) only comes out with 70/7/53/7/.324 That's not really what I would consider the #9 overall ranked second baseman.

3. Ian Kinsler - Texas Rangers - This second base Sleepers & Busters is tough. Either the players are good, you know they're good, and they'll continue to be good, or they suck, you know they suck, and you'd never draft them anyway. So, I'm going out on a limb to say that Ian Kinsler can't do in 2008 what he did in 2007 to warrant the ranking of 6th best second baseman. What's my basis? Man, have you checked out the Rangers' lineup? Man, it turns out that Robin Ventura was the cousin of God, and here's Nolan Ryan's karmic payback... Good luck with all that.

Labels: Aaron Hill, Brandon Phillips, busters, fantasy baseball, Howie Kendrick, Ian Kinsler, Jayson Nix, second basemen, sleepers, Yunel Escobar

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Now, onward and upward to the powerhouses of fantasy baseball: the first basemen. Historically, when you're looking at an all out slugger, you're looking at a first baseman. Yes, there's sluggers at all the other positions, but at no other position are there ONLY sluggers. So, take that semantics stickler.

In this article, I will go through and call out three bargain bin goodies and three things painted in lead paint with small parts that will almost certainly choke your children and small pets. With no further ado, let's hit the books, shall we?

Sleepers:

1. James Loney - Los Angeles Dodgers - Now, this guy isn't a rookie, he's been around for a couple of seasons. On top of that, the two seasons he's been around for he hasn't done anything superhuman. However, each season his per AB numbers are improving. So much so, that if he plays 162 games this season(he's played 48 & 95 in the two previous seasons), we have him projected out to hit around .310 with 21 HRs and 96 RBI. Those would be some nice numbers from the #15 ranked 1st Baseman.

2. Joey Votto - Cincinnati Reds - The only reason Votto isn't #1 on this list is that he only has 24 major league games under his belt. But, when we factored out his percentages over those 24 games into a 162 game season, the numbers were hot lava. Obviously, you can't expect a guy to hit the same over 6 months that he hit in a month and a half, but just for grins, here's his projected 162 game season projected numbers: 77/28/120/7/.321 Zoinks is right, Shaggy.

3. Daric Barton - Oakland A's - This guy burst on the scene like Prince Fielder at a pancake buffet last year. The guy had 72 ABs in 18 games, and went like this: 16/4/8/1/.347 Now, let's be reasonable. Those numbers projected out over 162 games would give you an unwarranted erection. I won't even show them to you, because they're worthless. No way a Billy Beane slugger gets 144 runs in a season, especially one who's currently riding the pine behind Dan Johnson. But, he's a DEFINITE free agent to watch early on.

Busters:

1. Carlos Pena - Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays - Okay, so let me get this straight, ONE above average season in 7 seasons warrants you to be the #9 overall 1st baseman in the fantasy world? Yeah, he was great for people who hopped on for the ride last season, but if you take last season's 46 HRs out of the picture, he suddenly averages less than 9 HRs a season. Something tells me that people need to pull off their near-sighted spectacles and start looking at things historically.

2. Carlos Guillen - Detroit Tigers - OOO! A first baseman who can hit 18 HRs and steal 18 bases a season! That's like getting excited over a Kia Sephia that also makes applesauce. Who gives a rat's ass? Neither of those stats is anything to write home about in the long run. Plus, face facts, he's a shortstop who now qualifies for first base. Who gets excited about shortstops, other than David Ortiz sharing sweaty man hugs with Miguel Tejada at the Home Run Derby.

3. Todd Helton - Colorado Rockies - Sorry, my oxygen deprived Rockies fans, the Todd Helton you knew is gone. He should still be on your draft board, but that ship is sinking faster than Wesley Snipes' career. Seriously, Wesley...hocking Bowflexes (or whatever body building gadget Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley also endorse)? I thought Blade was the biggest hunk of cheese you could squeeze from your butt...

Labels: busters, Carlos Guillen, Carlos Pena, Daric Barton, fantasy baseball, first basemen, James Loney, Joey Votto, sleepers, Todd Helton

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Alright folks, dust the Cheeto crumbs off of your keyboards, it's time for fantasy baseball again. Whether you play rotisserie, head-to-head, or points, there's one position that will always be like the tonsils of your team. You don't need them, they don't really seem to do anything, but if you don't have them, you're prone to get sick more often. This bitch of a position is the catcher. They're arguably the most important player on the field in real baseball, but in fantasy, most of them do nothing but get you 30-40 runs and RBIs, 7-10 HRs, and 0 stolen bases.

Of course, there are anomalies like Victor Martinez. But, those guys are few and far between. Like the tight end in fantasy baseball, life would be so much easier if you didn't even have to bother with them. But, the catcher is a necessity in fantasy baseball. So, let's go through and show you some of the most overrated and most underrated of the lamest position in fantasy baseball.

Sleepers:

1. J.R. Towles - Houston Astros - You may or may not have heard of this guy yet. But, trust me, by the end of the season, he will be a household name amongst fantasy baseball managers. The 2008 version of Russell Martin, Towles can hit and run with as much dominance as could be expected from a catcher. In the minors over the last 4 years, J.R. (or Justin Towles) produced 28 HRs and 42 SBs in 907 ABs. That's roughly 14 HRs and 21 SBs per a catcher's full MLB season with a career .300 minor league batting average to boot. Right now, Towles has an average fantasy ranking of 19.3 amongst catchers. Much of that may have something to do with Brad Ausmus, the 39-year old road block crouching in his way. He may not start the season as the starter, but he'll finish the season making the rest of your league managers wonder why they jumped on Jason Kendall so quickly.

2. Jarrod Saltalamacchia - Texas Rangers - I know Salty isn't MUCH of a sleeper with a 12.1 average fantasy ranking, but he'll be much higher than that by season's end. I personally have seen Salty back when he played for the AA Mississippi Braves, and he's solid. He hit 46 dingers in 1346 ABs in the minors, which works out to be around 15-16 in a full MLB catcher's season. He's as clutch as they come, knocking in 204 RBIs during that same time (an equivalent of about 70 per season in the MLB). Not only that, when he's not catching he will fill in at first base. Since one of the other major downfalls for catchers is their average of 100-120 games played per season, when a catcher also fills in at another spot you'd better jump on that bandwagon.

3. Michael Barrett - San Diego Padres - Yeah, I said it. I am, and have been for a long time, one of Barrett's biggest fans. Nothing stung worse than seeing him be ridden out of town on a rail by my beloved Cubs last season. That being said, the number one reason I heart Michael Barrett is his passion for the game. I love that he makes mistakes, not due to inability, but due to the fact that he gets so pumped that he just flips his lid. So, do you think Michael Barrett, a once very respectible fantasy catcher, will slink into a corner and twiddle his thumbs after last season's debacle? Of course not! Not MY Michael Barrett! I don't expect Victor Martinez numbers out of him, but the good old days of 50-15-50 and .280 don't seem like a stretch on February 8th to me.

Busters:

1. Joe Mauer - Minnesota Twins - Yes, we all love him for his batting title in 2006. We also very much love his sideburns. But, Joe, what have you done for me lately in fantasy baseball, buddy? Not much! Yeah, a .300 BA is good, but not when you're only playing 100-110 games a season! After that, he's getting 7-10 HRs and 7-10 SBs. You know who's got similar numbers to Handsome Joe? Mark DeRosa. Yeah! Mark DeRosa! 74-10-72-.324 & 71-12-73-.295 Which of the previous two seasons' averaged stats belong to which player? Okay, the .324 gives it away, but you take that batting crown out and you've got a .300 career hitter. I'm not saying he's not good, I just don't think he's worth the average fantasy ranking of 3.1 among catchers. He won't live up to your expectations this season.

2. Jason Kendall - Milwaukee Brewers - Why is Kendall even still being ranked at all? Much less owning as high of a ranking of 19 and 20 among ALL catchers! (Two reputable publications ranked him that high, his average ranking is 29.4) I guess if 0-3 HRs plus 40-50 runs and RBIs is good business to you, then more power to you. Maybe you're holding out for another monster 11 SBs out of him, I don't know. But, come on! If you see someone draft Kendall don't hold back the laughter, they need to hear it or else they'll never learn.

3. Ramon Hernandez - Baltimore Orioles - His sudden surge in the long ball category in 2003 with Oakland and now his sudden inability to play full seasons over the following 5 years screams Larussa turning yet another blind, drunken eye to a sharp stick in the ass cheek. With power numbers on the sharp decline since steroids have had their cover blown completely off a year or two ago, I don't think we'll ever see our average fantasy ranked 11.5 Ramon Hernandez return to the form many cling to like the hopes that Brad and Jen will get back together.

So, there you have it. Since you've got to have a catcher, you might as well go into the whole procedure informed. A couple other tips on catchers. Don't keep more than one on your roster, please. It doesn't make sense, it's like keeping Pokey Reese on your bench just in case Craig Counsell goes down. After Victor Martinez, Russell Martin, and Brian McCann get drafted just wait it out until you have the rest of your starters taken. Catchers work the same way in the draft that tight ends do in fantasy football, once the big three are taken, there's a rush as everyone's afraid they'll get stuck with nothing. Then you end up drafting Mike Napoli in the 4th or 5th round and you feel dirty like you just made sweet love to your cousin the next morning.

Check back in later when we uncover the Sleepers & Busters in the world of first basemen...

Labels: busters, catchers, fantasy baseball, J.R. Towles, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Jason Kendall, Joe Mauer, Michael Barrett, Ramon Hernandez, sleepers

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Ah, the few days before pitchers and catchers report to their respective locations and men and women, boys and girls can still relish the impending baseball season with all the hopes and dreams a fan should be allowed. It's a time when everyone is even, destinies hang in limbo, and anything can happen...

Except that's not quite true.

On April 6th, 1973, New York Yankee Ron Blomberg stepped to the plate as the first designated hitter in regular season Major League history. What started as an experiment during Spring Training of 1969 culminated in not so glorious fashion: Blomberg walked. But, it started what has become one of the most arduously argued points in all of American sports. So much so that people who couldn't name a single Yankee player have an opinion on the subject.

Besides creating controversy and bar room arguments for over 30 years, it has also created a great divide that is increasing every year as the hitter generation moves into baseball. Initially created as a way for teams to heighten their batting averages and for aging players to extend their careers, the Designated Hitter role has become more of a power role. It has evolved into a role for Cecil Fielder-esque goliaths to swat balls over the wall like elephants tossing midgets, all the while completely disregarding the other 80% of the game.

This is all well and good for your average baseball fan who just came to watch homeruns. But, let's face it, these people are retards. Plain and simple. Sorry, but it had to be said. Baseball consists of four elements at it's most simplistic break down: batting, baserunning, fielding, and pitching. Your average DH only does one of the four, and if you want to break it down even further even the best DH only does that one thing 30% of the time.

Well, la dee da! Another opponent of the Designated Hitter! Get in line, Jerk Ass... Right? Okay, well, I'm coming at you with another point and I'm also bringing some history:

Major League Baseball introduced the DH to the regular season in 1973, as I said above. They didn't adopt the DH into the World Series until 1976, and even then they only used the DH in even-numbered World Series years until 1986 when it became an every year event. Following up with that in 1989, they decided to fully integrate the DH into Major League Baseball by including it in the All-Star Game.

Well, let's take a step back and look at what the Designated Hitter truly means to baseball. The DH was created as a way to bring dipping team batting averages up and allow aging players to prolong their careers. Both of these original concepts are nothing but PR marketing. Pitchers are dominating the game, how can we shake things up? As our crowd favorites retire, attendance dips, how can we keep people in the stands? Two questions, one answer.

Suddenly, like a shot in the ass, we are seeing the after effects of the MLB's marketing "supplement". Since the DH was integrated into the All-Star Game, the American League has won 14 out of 17 matchups. The National League has only won 11 of the World Series' that utilized the Designated Hitter since 1979, and is only 4 of 10 in the past ten seasons.

The bottom line here is that this over-engorged marketing ploy has created a gap in statistical equivalences that is only growing wider during the "steroids/hitters" era. So, the question I pose to you, the reading public, is how much longer can this continue? It seems obvious that Major League Baseball will never remove the Designated Hitter. With David Ortiz as the current Crown Prince of baseball, the Designated Hitter's presence has never been stronger. With the current trend of players getting more powerful and less agile by the season, the Designated Hitter's place in the future of baseball couldn't be less questionable.

How much longer do we, the National League fans: the self-proclaimed baseball purists, get to watch the game we remember and love? How much longer do we have until baseball is forced to institute the Designated Hitter into the National League to create parity between the leagues once again? The clock is running. We may hate it, we may make promises we have no intention of keeping after it's done, but it seems inevitable.

Just thought you should know...

Labels: american league, baseball, bud selig, designated hitter, dh, fantasy baseball, mlb, national league, nl, selig

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