RotoDestroyer: NFL

NFL Europa Calls It Quits

2007-06-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

After 16 years of sub-par football talent, players that look like porn sites with the legions of advertisements scattered about their uniforms, and minimal attendance, the NFL Europa development league has folded up it's lederhosen and turned out the lights. As ambivalent Europeans waved goodbye, they said, "Would you mind taking your ridiculous Euro-Disney with you as well?"

Fred Evans Arrested

2007-06-27T13:08:00.000-07:00

Miami's 2006 7th Round Draft Pick, DT, Fred Evans...what? You know! He got 2 tackles in the last game of the season versus Indianapolis... Drafted between Pat McQuistan and James Wyche! Come on! Fourth guy on the Miami depth chart at nose tackle! Ring any bells? Yeah, me either. This guy is two tackles from not even being a blip on the local news, yet every national news outlet in America is reporting it. Congratulations, America! The media thinks you're stupid!

Jim Mora, Sr. Steps Down

2006-12-07T07:17:00.000-08:00

After just agreeing with the statement that Michael Vick is a "coach killer", Jim Mora, Sr. immediately began taking flack that made Rush Limbaugh say, "Ouch... Where's my oxys?" Today he stepped down from his role as radio personality because of the backlash of agreeing with, "It's possible that Michael Vick's inability to consistently hit a target with a pass, and his penchant for running wildly, scrambling for a hole when he probably should have just passed it in the first place, might reflect badly on the head coach." He didn't even SAY it, he just agreed! The backlash he is receiving astounds me.

Consider this an open invitation to you, Jim Mora, Sr. We at RotoDestroyer would love to have you on board. We can't pay you, and we're not taking down the "PLAYOFFS!?" video, but we get where you were coming from.

Lovie Loves Rex

2006-12-05T12:37:00.000-08:00

Lovie Smith, when questioned on how much longer the Bears can start Rex Grossman, said, "We're 10-2 with Rex as our starter." Then, he said it again. And one more time for emphasis. He didn't fool anyone. The Bears are 10-2 with their defense and special teams. Without those two pieces, they wouldn't even be in contention. The Steelers won the Super Bowl last season with Cedrick Wilson as their starter. Trent Dilfer has a ring, too. That doesn't mean THEY won the Super Bowl. Get Griese in the game before it's too late, Lovie.

Gramatica's Back-itta!

2006-12-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but I actually saw Bill Parcells smile last night. And he was smiling about his very own golden Oompa-loompa. The very dwarf they hired to replace their arrogant diva kicker, Mike Vanderjagt, shoved Vandy's face in a steaming river of molten chocolate as he booted a game winning field goal to save Tony Romo's ass. Without a moment's thought Martin stepped right back into place bouncing and flailing like a cat with tape on its tail. Welcome back, Martin. We've missed you. Good riddance, Vanderjagt. Just remember, unless your name is Vinatieri and you've won two (2!) Super Bowls via your foot, just shut your primadonna whine hole.

Trent Green To Start For Chiefs

2006-11-16T20:42:00.000-08:00

After missing the majority of the season dealing with the after effects of a major concussion, Trent Green will take the field and says he is not afraid of being hit. Well when you're first game's against Oakland, it's no wonder. That's like getting caught in the middle of an eleven year old girl's slumber party pillow fight.